Leaving the Comfort Zone

Hello, friends!

I know most of you who read here know me in other networks or in real life, but I always feel like I need to catch everyone up from the previous post! The short version - I had surgery, everything went great, and I recovered just fine! :)

I want to share about what's been going on since then, though. Way back when I started sharing about my cancer here on my blog, people would occasionally comment about my great attitude, and how they knew God would use that as a ministry later. I kept this in the back of my mind, because it's my nature to be an encourager anyway; but anything getting me out in a "public" setting? Not so much. I love being a helper, a behind-the-scenes getter-doner (yes, I just made that up). That's what I do. But, I started to realize that maybe God had something bigger than this blog in mind. Not really sure what or how, I just kept that filed away, waiting for God to reveal more.

So a few weeks ago, we started a new women's Bible Study - Priscilla Shirer's Jonah - A Life Interrupted. She encouraged us throughout the study to think of a way that we could reach out to our own Nineveh - a mission project that we could do as a group that would share God's love and redemption with those who are lost and in need. We talked about a few ideas, and towards the end, we firmed up a plan to put feet (and hands) to work spreading God's love. Then we were presented a new idea, one that we could do along with our original plan. We would write notes to the teen girls who were in custody at the youth detention center. I loved this idea - and (as you will soon see) that idea pricked my heart more than every other idea that had been presented.

But then God intervened.

After speaking with the supervisors at the detention center, our group leader informed us that, not only could we write notes to the girls, but we could actually go visit them. And the original plan? Well, that one had a minor kink in it, so instead of putting feet to that one, we flip-flopped our ideas - we'd still collect items for the homeless, but instead of going to them, we'd go to the detention center. We would take them a treat, provide cupcakes & encouraging notes - and we'd have a short devotion. The question was then posed - "Would each of you pray about possibly leading a devotion for the girls?"

Well.

That's about the time that I felt as though God was standing right in front of my face with a bullhorn, saying "That's you."

Ummmm.....

For the rest of that session, I could barely concentrate. Everything in me wanted to say no. But God was not having that. I knew I could not leave that room until I said yes. So at the end, as we were finalizing all of the details, one of the leaders jokingly asked, "So, has anyone decided they want to give the devotion??"

My mouth opened and my hand went up before I could even think to make it stop.

"Um, yes, me."

Y'all.

I am so unlikely. I cannot explain to you how uncomfortable this makes me. I can write all day long - but sharing? In public? In front of people? Not really my thing. But the whole week, God reminded me that I'm not supposed to be comfortable; it's when I'm outside that cozy little nest of a comfort zone that He shows Himself to me and to everyone else. And boy, was I outside of it.

But God (I swear, I could write a whole book with that phrase) began to weave together the same verses that He used to comfort and strengthen me and showed me just how to use them to comfort and encourage these girls. By the time Wednesday rolled around, I was at peace, though still quite nervous. Satan tried to unnerve me (us) a few times - like having Sunshine vomit the day before (only once, and she was fine), a misunderstanding about our childcare arrangements for the day (which worked out anyway), a torrential downpour just as we arrived & unloaded at the center (we were a little soggy, but humbled and aware of Him!). My only worry was that, because these girls were in trouble, they would be hardened and angry. But what we found were 5 girls who were humble, grateful, and receptive. God was in every detail. Even down to having a friend from our church, who is a lawyer, be there as we arrived - he took the opportunity to pray with us before we went in, and prayed specifically for the girls to be receptive.

I shared with them my diagnosis - how Jeremiah 29:11 was in my quiet time the morning of my first appointment - that He knows the plans He has for me, and they are GOOD. I shared how Isaiah 43:1-2 spoke to me - that I am His, that He loves me, and He is with me through what looks like a mess. (as an aside, go read Isaiah 43:1-4 in The Message - it will bless you!) I shared how He used Ephesians 3:20 to prove that He would take care of me even better than I could have imagined - right down to the littlest details. What I wanted them to realize more than anything is that no matter what kind of scars or sin or mess that is their life, God loves them, and He will take care of them.

The whole thing was really overwhelming to me; it's really hard for me to be in a position to receive attention because NONE of this is about me. And I know (and hope) that everyone who knows me knows that I don't share any of this for ME. It's ONLY to give glory to God for what He's done in my life, and to share His love with Nineveh. So through this experience, God has allowed me to see that He will do all the talking, as long as I obey. I'm more confident about doing this again - and I can see what others shared all along about this being my ministry. I'm excited (and maybe even a bit eager) to see what's next!