the monkey boys' mama

Choosing Wisely

2011-12-09T10:53:00.003-06:00

Last Christmas I wrote this post complete with a picture of Sunshine's arrangement for our nativity. As I unloaded our decorations this year, that image was in the forefront of my mind. This year has not been the easiest year, and it's been easy to get overwhelmed in the every day things, much less all the "extras" that holidays bring. As I scrolled through my Facebook & Twitter feeds, then dove in (well, ok, stuck my toes in) to Pinterest over Thanksgiving, I began to be overwhelmed with a feeling that I wasn't doing something right. My home wasn't decorated perfectly with yards of decor mesh and crafty do-it-yourself wreaths and ornaments discovered on Pinterest. I haven't planned an all-day holiday baking party. We aren't taking a fun family vacation over the holidays. I had already decided not to mail Christmas cards. And the Christmas list for our family was, well, comparatively speaking, small.

I really began to pray that God would help me not to focus on our "have nots" - especially because that's not what Christmas is about - and instead bring the focus back to Him.

That's when I read Lora Lynn's post about their Christmas traditions - and it clicked. Would Jesus want me fretting over perfect decorations, sweating over delectable treats, or spending or stressing over gifts just for the sake of having a gift to give?

Nope.

When Jesus was visiting in Mary & Martha's home, Mary sat at His feet while Martha ran around like a chicken with it's head cut-off, playing hostess, making sure that everything was just so. And just what did Jesus tell her when she asked Him to chastise Mary for not helping her?

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:41-42)

Instead of telling Mary to get her act together & help her sister, Jesus told Martha that Mary had chosen what was better - she had chosen what could not be taken away from her. Now, don't get me wrong - there's nothing inherently faulty with anything Martha was doing. She was trying to put on her best for Jesus and the Disciples. That's ok. But, she got so wrapped up in all of those details that she was missing Jesus - she was not sitting down to enjoy His company.

I can imagine us as modern day Marthas - making every adorable ornament we've seen on Pinterest, baking all the delightful goodies, buying the next best and biggest thing for everyone on our list, spending hours creating, addressing, and sending out dozens of Christmas cards. And there's nothing wrong with any of that.

But what about Mary? Sure, Martha was showing her servant's spirit and her impeccable hospitality. But Mary chose what was better - she chose what could not be taken away from her. Instead of wrapping ourselves up and stressing ourselves out in all of the hub-bub of Christmas, we should be reminding ourselves to sit at His feet for a while. To remember the whole reason we give gifts in the first place - to celebrate THE GIFT Himself! Our joy is not found in all of the things that surround the holiday season. Our joy is in the gift of His love, His grace, and His goodness. It is found in being grateful for the blessings that we have, not the laundry list of our have-nots.

Spend some time being Mary. Shut the door and let the clutter and madness of this busy time of year wait for a while. Sit at His feet and thank Him, love Him, and praise Him for being the best gift that we ever could have imagined. Of all the gifts I could ever give my children, that is the one I want them to have more than any other thing in this world - the gift of choosing what is better, that which cannot be taken away from them.

Leaving the Comfort Zone

2011-11-18T08:57:00.005-06:00

Hello, friends!

I know most of you who read here know me in other networks or in real life, but I always feel like I need to catch everyone up from the previous post! The short version - I had surgery, everything went great, and I recovered just fine! :)

I want to share about what's been going on since then, though. Way back when I started sharing about my cancer here on my blog, people would occasionally comment about my great attitude, and how they knew God would use that as a ministry later. I kept this in the back of my mind, because it's my nature to be an encourager anyway; but anything getting me out in a "public" setting? Not so much. I love being a helper, a behind-the-scenes getter-doner (yes, I just made that up). That's what I do. But, I started to realize that maybe God had something bigger than this blog in mind. Not really sure what or how, I just kept that filed away, waiting for God to reveal more.

So a few weeks ago, we started a new women's Bible Study - Priscilla Shirer's Jonah - A Life Interrupted. She encouraged us throughout the study to think of a way that we could reach out to our own Nineveh - a mission project that we could do as a group that would share God's love and redemption with those who are lost and in need. We talked about a few ideas, and towards the end, we firmed up a plan to put feet (and hands) to work spreading God's love. Then we were presented a new idea, one that we could do along with our original plan. We would write notes to the teen girls who were in custody at the youth detention center. I loved this idea - and (as you will soon see) that idea pricked my heart more than every other idea that had been presented.

But then God intervened.

After speaking with the supervisors at the detention center, our group leader informed us that, not only could we write notes to the girls, but we could actually go visit them. And the original plan? Well, that one had a minor kink in it, so instead of putting feet to that one, we flip-flopped our ideas - we'd still collect items for the homeless, but instead of going to them, we'd go to the detention center. We would take them a treat, provide cupcakes & encouraging notes - and we'd have a short devotion. The question was then posed - "Would each of you pray about possibly leading a devotion for the girls?"

Well.

That's about the time that I felt as though God was standing right in front of my face with a bullhorn, saying "That's you."

Ummmm.....

For the rest of that session, I could barely concentrate. Everything in me wanted to say no. But God was not having that. I knew I could not leave that room until I said yes. So at the end, as we were finalizing all of the details, one of the leaders jokingly asked, "So, has anyone decided they want to give the devotion??"

My mouth opened and my hand went up before I could even think to make it stop.

"Um, yes, me."

Y'all.

I am so unlikely. I cannot explain to you how uncomfortable this makes me. I can write all day long - but sharing? In public? In front of people? Not really my thing. But the whole week, God reminded me that I'm not supposed to be comfortable; it's when I'm outside that cozy little nest of a comfort zone that He shows Himself to me and to everyone else. And boy, was I outside of it.

But God (I swear, I could write a whole book with that phrase) began to weave together the same verses that He used to comfort and strengthen me and showed me just how to use them to comfort and encourage these girls. By the time Wednesday rolled around, I was at peace, though still quite nervous. Satan tried to unnerve me (us) a few times - like having Sunshine vomit the day before (only once, and she was fine), a misunderstanding about our childcare arrangements for the day (which worked out anyway), a torrential downpour just as we arrived & unloaded at the center (we were a little soggy, but humbled and aware of Him!). My only worry was that, because these girls were in trouble, they would be hardened and angry. But what we found were 5 girls who were humble, grateful, and receptive. God was in every detail. Even down to having a friend from our church, who is a lawyer, be there as we arrived - he took the opportunity to pray with us before we went in, and prayed specifically for the girls to be receptive.

I shared with them my diagnosis - how Jeremiah 29:11 was in my quiet time the morning of my first appointment - that He knows the plans He has for me, and they are GOOD. I shared how Isaiah 43:1-2 spoke to me - that I am His, that He loves me, and He is with me through what looks like a mess. (as an aside, go read Isaiah 43:1-4 in The Message - it will bless you!) I shared how He used Ephesians 3:20 to prove that He would take care of me even better than I could have imagined - right down to the littlest details. What I wanted them to realize more than anything is that no matter what kind of scars or sin or mess that is their life, God loves them, and He will take care of them.

The whole thing was really overwhelming to me; it's really hard for me to be in a position to receive attention because NONE of this is about me. And I know (and hope) that everyone who knows me knows that I don't share any of this for ME. It's ONLY to give glory to God for what He's done in my life, and to share His love with Nineveh. So through this experience, God has allowed me to see that He will do all the talking, as long as I obey. I'm more confident about doing this again - and I can see what others shared all along about this being my ministry. I'm excited (and maybe even a bit eager) to see what's next!

Viva La TaTa!

2011-10-12T14:07:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow is the big day - the Bye Bye Bewbie Day - the day I become less of a person than I am today! I am so cool with this whole thing - I don't think people really believe me! This part will have it's emotion, no doubt; but the hardest part is OVER, so tomorrow will be a breeze in comparison. My sweet mom is coming to help man the fort while I'm out - and hopefully I won't be in the hospital more than one night. Recovery will be the tough part - there's that whole "not doing" thing. But this (like the rest of this) is temporary, so I'll look the other way when the dishes are loaded all wonky or there's still dirt on the floor. Because I'll be back to doing it ~~the right way~~ my way soon enough. ;) I would appreciate your prayers for a speedy recovery and that no weird things will happen. I know it's all gonna be just fine.

I was thinking the other day how fitting it is that I'm finishing up with all of this in October, which is Breast Cancer Awareness month. I have always liked the color pink, and I'm certainly a fan of breast cancer awareness. But this year, it's different. Every time I see a pink ribbon, pink car tag, pink bracelet, pink hair extension, pink bagel, pink t-shirt - every single time, I want to walk up to the person, take their face in my hand, and say, "THANK YOU - do you know that pink is for ME?" Obviously not just for me, but many, many others - but still - now, it's so personal. So if you're wearing pink, consider yourself hugged. For me. And those who have gone before me. THANK YOU - from the bottom of our pink hearts!

Whew.

2011-09-12T13:05:00.003-05:00

So, I'm done!

(insert applause & raucous cheers here)

Of course, I didn't just finish. There was more to it than that. I was *supposed* to finish on August 23, and I looked forward to that date for weeks. But, my white count was too low, so I had to wait. I received a series of 3 Neupogen injections that week, and returned Friday, half holding my breath. Thankfully, the Neupogen had done it's job & my count was *much* higher, so I received my last FEC on the 26th!

Hopefully, that was my last ever. :)

So now that I'm done, I'm looking forward to getting back to that thing we like to call normal. At least the *normal* that doesn't include spending hours in infusion & days laying in the bed. I'm trying to remember that even though I am done, I am still not back to normal yet; I sort of learned that the hard way last week when I got a bit over zealous with my schedule. It was all sorts of packed. Lots of fun, but man, I was tired. Generally, the second week after this type of treatment is like that, so I shouldn't have been surprised that my body ached and my eyes could not stay open!

I imagine you're all wondering "Well, what now? Surgery? No surgery? Radiation? No radiation?" Well, inquisitive readers, I will tell you. Last week I met with my surgeon who went over all of the details of the "What now?" We discussed that surgery is generally always indicated, even if it appears that the tumor(s) are gone. She sent me for another mammogram just to be sure; yes, my tumor has decreased significantly, but it is still there, as is the second (smaller) lump. Becuase of the presence of multiple tumors, the best option is a mastectomy. Obviously I had hoped to avoid that, but in reality, I knew it was always still a possibility. I knew that if I had a lumpectomy, radiation therapy was a given. That is a HUGE time commitment - 5 days a week for 5-7 weeks, several hours each day. The mastectomy appealed to me because I could do that & then be done for good. I mean, I would have liked to keep all my body parts, but let's face it - it's not like losing an arm or anything. I really prayed before I went that whichever option was the right one, that it would be clear, and it was. I do get to keep the left one, so that's a plus. I'd hate to bore my male readers (all three of you) with bosomy details, so I'll just leave it at that. :)

I haven't officially set the date for that yet, but it will most likely be at the beginning of next month. I have a fun little weekend planned at the end of the month, and I'm looking forward to a nice little respite after the last 8 months! I'll be attending the .Mom Conference in Birmingham, thanks to a sweet friend who won extra tickets and knew I needed to be there! I had wanted to go when I first found out about this unique event back in December, but just didn't have peace about it. I soon knew why that was, and knew that if I was to go, it would have to be a last minute decision. I'm so grateful for my sweet friends who know just how to bless my socks off :)

Speaking of blessing, "Thank You" could never sufficiently convey how much you have all blessed me over the last 8 months. From prayers to dinner to "happies" to childcare - I am SO overwhelmed with gratitude. I am looking forward to seeing how God blesses each of you in return!

Happy Birthday, Sunshine!

2011-09-07T07:12:00.004-05:00

The beginning might have been rough

but I really can't imagine

what our family would be like

without you at the end

of our little rainbow

Happy Birthday, Sunshine Girl!
I love you to the moon and back
and to the sun and back
and to the stars and back

Hey Y'all :)

2011-08-31T17:11:00.002-05:00

So there's this fun little meme (do they still call it that?) going around right now & I thought I'd try it! It's all about accents, and since I think Southerners have the lock on accents (for American dialects, anyway) I figured, why not! Since blogs are only usually written, I think it's pretty cool to see how we all talk! Enjoy :)

Here's a list of the words and questions if you'd like to try it for yourself:

~~~~~~~

Aunt, Route, Wash, Oil, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, Sure, Data, Ruin, Crayon, Toilet, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Spitting image, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Syrup, Pajamas, Caught

What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?

What is the bug that when you touch it, it curls into a ball?

What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?

What do you call gym shoes?

What do you say to address a group of people?

What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?

What do you call your grandparents?

What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?

What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?

What is the thing you change the TV channel with?

~~~~~~~

And don't worry - I know I've been absent lately, but I'll be back soon with an update on me! (maybe I'll even vlog it!)

Finishing

2011-07-18T20:13:00.004-05:00

Last week was the second of my last four treatments. When I started this round, I thought that sounded so easy; four was so much easier to count down than twelve. But that first treatment was hard. It wasn't an easy few days; but once I realized it would only be for a few days, I thought surely it wouldn't be so bad.

Last week wasn't as bad over all, but still - feeling like poo and having absolutely no appetite, on top of feeling nauseous and being tired - well, it's not easy making it through those few days. Although I was making it, I was still feeling down about having to do this two more times. Yes, it's only two more. But. You know?

Sunday morning I was sitting in the back of the Kid's Worship theater; I'm still working, but trying to cushion myself from the crowds & germs. I wasn't really paying attention at first, but then our Children's Minister used this video in his lesson for the kids. I've seen it before; but this time it meant so much more.

As I watched, the words on the screen and the lyrics of the song - well, God got my attention. Right there in the back of the Children's Worship Theater, just like I was the only one there. As I watched the story, He spoke very clearly:

In the 1992 Summer Olympics, Derek Redmond was favored to win the 400 Meter Race. But not even half way through, his hamstring tore. He had a decision to make.

"You have a race to finish. You can't quit. I am still writing your story."

Derek's father ran from the stands to help his son. He told him they would finish the race together.

"I know it's tough. But I'm right here beside you. I am holding your right hand."

With his father's help, Derek completed the race with a standing ovation from the crowd of 65,000.

"You have an army cheering you on. You are not alone."

In spite of the pain, he purposed to finish the race that was set before him. It wasn't how he wanted to finish the race. But he had a father who loved him so much that he wouldn't let him suffer alone. "God is like that. When we are hurting and fighting to finish, He comes to help us."

"I want you to finish strong. Because I love you."

And there I was in the back of the Children's Worship Theater, a sobbing mess, with my Father's arms wrapped tight around me, reminding me that HE'S GOT THIS. So I will keep running, and I will finish this race.

Round Two

2011-06-25T17:18:00.005-05:00

So, I've been absent. (and this might get long) (and maybe boring, too)

But that's not a bad thing (the absent part. I make no promises about the other two). Up until last week, my focus was on doing what I could to prepare for VBS at our church. As most of you know, I work in the Children's Ministry, so this is the biggest event of the year for us. I had sort of checked out of preparation early on because I didn't know if I'd even be able to be involved. In the month or so leading up to it, I realized that my two week break between treatments would fall during VBS. I was excited about that, because even though it's a lot of work, it's always such a fun week - and it was! We had a great week, and although I started out still a bit unsure of how I'd plow through the week, God graced me with plenty of strength! This past weekend, we took a few days to go visit our families, and when we returned on Monday, we dropped off Bubba & Dude to spend 3 days at Jr. High camp. Obviously, it's been a busy few weeks! I have been very grateful for the "normal" in the midst of this craziness. Being able to "forget" about the new normal of doctor appointments and treatments and all is refreshing. But coming back is a little rude. I guess it just makes the "normal" times that much sweeter.

Anyhow, Tuesday was the big day, the beginning of the second round of treatment. (Did I mentioned that I finished the first round with no issues on May 31st? Yeah, there was that!) I had been prepared that this one would probably be worse; but no one can tell you exactly what it will be like. Everyone responds differently, so while there is a good idea of the effects, you really just have to wait & see.

True to form, this Tuesday threw me a curve ball. We first met with Dr. B, and I expressed my anxiety. He was, as always, reassuring.

But.

There was a problem. This round of treatment combines 3 different drugs. Unfortunately, one of them is experiencing a nationwide shortage, and I (of course) am only the 3rd patient of Dr. B's to experience this. Dr. B explained that leaving out one component of treatment is like baking a cake and leaving out an ingredient. Probably wouldn't have disastrous results, but it probably wouldn't bring about the same results. He explained that all three drugs were important and necessary in this protocol. The solution is that I would take the drug in pill form rather than by IV.

But.

The problem with that is that there is *not* a protocol for using the pill form with the same dose and timing that I'm on. So changing one thing would in essence change everything. The usual protocol for the pill form is a 28 day cycle; I am scheduled for a 21 day cycle. Changing this would mean changing the other 2 medications as well; this would not be as simple as moving everything back a week. Without boring you with all of those details, Dr. B set out to determine what would now be the best course. (Obviously, this is something that affects many patients; I just got the joy of being one of the first)

As he worked on that, I sat and thought. And my mind immediately went to the devotion I had read just that morning. It reminded me not to trust in special diets, medications, or certain vitamins for my healing. My healing and my help come only from One. So, my first thought was that maybe I *was* supposed to skip this drug. Maybe I was supposed to step out on faith and trust in God to take care of the rest.

As I thought, Dr. B returned. He consulted with the breast cancer research doctor and most current journals, and the best course with my current protocol would be to take this particular drug in pill form for 10 days with each infusion. And then he sort of paused and said, "I really don't think we need to skip this one."

Well. There you go.

Now, some people may look at that & say that I'm still trusting in man/medicine/etc to heal me. But the Dr. B that I know puts God over medicine, and I am confident that if he felt it was okay to omit this drug, he would have told me as much. I am not by any stretch of the imagination an expert, so knowing that I have someone on my side who I can trust means everything. Even though I know that my healing still lies in God's hands, I am confident that Dr. B has my best interest in his.

So, with that decision made and prescription in hand, I made my way to the infusion suite. Sarge left to get us some lunch, so I started out on my own. I was pleasantly surprised by a sweet new friend who is also a patient of Dr. B. She recently completed her journey, using the same treatment plan as me, so she has been a super source of encouragement and advice. We sat & talked and filled the time until Sarge returned with lunch. Her presence was gift enough, but she brought me a little something as a visual reminder of God's overwhelming grace. It was a Willow Tree figurine, aptly titled "Courage" - how beautiful is the picture of courage here - arms outstretched, victorious and ready to receive a divine outpouring of supernatural strength!

The word courage had been on my mind just the day before, as we made our way back home from our trip. The anxiety and dread were already beginning to swell, and as I searched for reassurance of God's perfect plan, that word flooded my mind. I really don't think of myself as especially brave or courageous. I'm doing what I have to do. I *have* to do this; I don't really have much choice. I can either be pitiful or powerful.* I don't see any worth in spending my time in pity or despair; I have better things to do (like be a mom and wife). So what I do, in my mind, is living. It's not being being brave, it's just taking care of business. But without God, I would not have the courage to face this giant alone. I say it all the time, I don't know how people go through something like this without Him. Moses faced Pharaoh, David faced Goliath, Daniel faced the lions, Esther faced the King, Job faced, well, everyone, Paul faced prison, John faced beheading - all because God gave them the strength and the confidence to do what they had to do. I'm sure they didn't think of what they were doing as being especially brave. I'm sure they were anxious or fearful. But we learn from each of them that God blesses our obedience. So more than anything, I want to obey. And because of that, I press on.

With Courage at the forefront of my mind, I finished up that first treatment. I didn't feel a whole lot different yet, but one of the new nausea medications made me very sleepy. We stopped to get the 3rd drug filled, but since it's a special type of drug it had to be ordered. So home we went. I could tell later that night that this one really was different. I. felt. awful. That feeling continued on Wednesday...and Thursday...and Friday. On Friday morning, I was so ready to feel better; I'm not sure if I mentioned this, but I don't like being down. Not being able to do all the things I normally do (like eat) is *really* hard for me (being the control freak, OCD person that I am) (did I mention that?). I did manage to work for a bit on Thursday, but I probably should not have. Anyway, Sarge was taking the kids to see a movie on Friday. He asked me if I wanted to try to go, and I told him no; I still felt bad, I didn't want to go out, I didn't want to eat, I just wanted to be done. He persisted a bit, and said I would probably feel better if I got out. Against my better(?) judgement, I decided to try & get ready to go. I figured if I didn't make through that, I'd stay home. But I managed it. And I managed to eat some lunch. And being out didn't kill me. It actually did make me feel a bit better. And even though I wasn't full of energy, I didn't feel like curling up under the covers and hiding for the rest of the day. And that was nice.

Today has been a little better than that, even. Not much, but small steps, you know? Taking the pills every day so far doesn't seem to be too big of a deal physically; we'll see if I still feel that way next week. Mentally, it's a tough game. I fight with myself, knowing they might make me feel bad - knowing that in essence, I'm poisoning myself - but knowing there is a greater good somewhere in them. It's so much easier to go sit in a chair and let someone else take care of it; it's totally different having the responsibility all on me. There may be good in this, though: this drug can be particularly toxic, and by taking it in this form rather than straight into my blood stream, it may be less so. We shall see. One of the biggest problems I'm having is drinking plenty of water/fluids, as this medication can irritate the bladder & kidneys. I am not a drinker (hahaha), so drinking *more,* especially when I don't feel like it, is particularly difficult. I'm not as worried about not being able to eat as I am drinking. So that's something you can pray for - that I'd be able to manage the fluids I need, especially on the days I feel the worst. I am hopeful that the worst days will be only the few days after each of these treatments, and that means I only have 3 more - or maybe 15 total days of feeling really crappy. Thank goodness for Zofran, Compazine & Ambien. They might make those days go a bit faster. I cannot tell you all how much your prayers, thoughts, and acts of kindness have meant to us. The next few weeks cannot go by fast enough, but I am grateful that they will not be passed alone.

*The phrase "Pitiful or Powerful" isn't my idea; I heard that years ago, and it's always stuck with me!

Praying Scripture for our kids, week 17

2011-05-30T22:02:00.002-05:00

Lately I find myself praying verses that revolve around character. But today I stumbled upon a word *I* needed, and decided to use this for my kids, too. I needed the reminder of God's protection, and I want my kids to know the same!

Psalm 91:9-12
"If you make the Lord your refuge, if you make the Most High your shelter, no evil will conquer you; no plague will come near your home. For he will order his angels to protect you wherever you go. They will hold you up with their hands so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone." (NLT)

Praying Scriptire for our kids, week 16

2011-05-24T06:18:00.002-05:00

Colossians 3:23-24
"Work willingly at whatever you do,
as though you were working for the Lord
rather than for people.
Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ."

changed

2011-05-22T15:54:00.003-05:00

I'm so sorry it's been over a month since I've posted an update, but honestly, there's not much new to report. Right now, I'm still having the weekly treatments (Herceptin and Taxol). There are 2 more of those, then (I think) I get a break for a couple weeks before the next round. A couple weeks ago I had an appointment with Dr. B. He measured the tumor and said it appears to be less than half the size that it was when I started - this week, I've noticed that it's barely palpable anymore, so that's pretty awesome! I am doing fairly well with everything; I can't say that I've had most of the side effects that I was told to expect, and the ones I've had haven't been unbearable. The main thing for me has been fatigue & just generally not feeling good for a couple days after each treatment. My energy level and appetite are not what they used to be. But, I'm not the kind of person to complain about everything, so writing about all the interesting things I'm dealing with, normal or weird, just won't happen. It seems redundant to come here every week and say the same thing - so I just haven't said anything :)

So, we're all doing fine - the kids will be out of school for the summer this week, Sarge is still just the best thing ever, and I'm surviving. It's sort of weird actually; it's still very surreal to say/believe that I have cancer and we're moving through this whole process of chemotherapy and oncologists and such, when most days I try very hard to just be the same person I was before January 20th.

One of the most difficult things I'm dealing with was not unexpected. I even wrote about it already, and anticipated it. It still seems pretty shallow, though. It's difficult to see myself every day, with no hair, sparse eyelashes, and acne. It's easy to put on make-up and a wig, but those have to come off every night. Even though I know this is a process and it's only for a season, it's not easy to see myself like that. It's almost easier to deal with the physical side effects like fatigue and loss of appetite rather than the emotional drain of seeing a different person every time I look in the mirror. I know that the physical side effects will subside as soon as my treatment is completed; but seeing myself changed will continue for some months more. I know I said that losing my hair was easier than I expected, and it really was; I am sort of enjoying not having to worry about whether it'll be a good or bad hair day! But, there's a big part of me that just really wants to see ME when I look in the mirror. And right now, I don't see ME.

(And please know that I'm not fishing for compliments or comments to the contrary; I'm just telling you how I feel. Feeling and knowing are two very different things. I do believe what I wrote; but it's still difficult to manage the emotion of it.)

I guess that's part of this whole thing though. The person I was before January 20th IS changed. And I guess for what it's worth, it's a change for the better. People keep telling me that I have such a great attitude about all of this; I always tell them I'm not sure how people get through things like this WITHOUT a good attitude. I mean, I could sit around in self-pity all the time, but really, how much fun is it to live in a pit? Even without hair, I'd rather my kids know that you can LIVE with cancer. Self-pity is not required, and there is beauty in the most ordinarily extraordinary circumstances of life. And hopefully, one day, when they look back on this time of our lives, they will see exactly that.

Praying Scripture for Our Kids, week 15

2011-05-16T22:58:00.002-05:00

Psalm 119:93
"I will never forget your commandments,
for by them you give me life." (NLT)

(Yes, I know I'm due an update, too. Soon, m'kay? Pinkie promise!)

Praying Scripture for our kids, Week 14

2011-05-09T21:53:00.002-05:00

1 Thessalonians 5:15-18
"See that no one pays back evil for evil,
but always try to do good to each other and to all people.
Always be joyful.
Never stop praying.
Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will
for you who belong to Christ Jesus." (NLT)

Happy 9th Birthday, Little!

2011-05-08T17:39:00.005-05:00

Little celebrated his 9th birthday with a few of his friends on Friday afternoon after school - we had frozen yogurt at Chill, then played at the park. Simple, but they had a blast!

On Saturday (his birthday), he got his vanilla/vanilla cupcakes, with candy toppers :)

I can't believe how he's grown up - isn't he still just my wee little man??
(yes, the pouty ones were his one year portraits - and yes, they were all like that!)

Happy Birthday, Little Bit! You're not so little anymore, but you will always be my first last baby!

Praying Scripture for our kids, Week 13

2011-05-02T17:10:00.003-05:00

The book of Proverbs is chock-full of wonderful verses. Just a few weeks ago, I posted a passage from the end of Proverbs 4. I really enjoyed the whole chapter, so today I thought I'd post some of the verses before that passage. This set of "instructions" is one that I think we ALL need to be reminded of frequently!

Proverbs 4:10-14
"Listen, my son, accept what I say, and the years of your life will be many.
I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths.
When you walk, your steps will not be hampered;
when you run, you will not stumble.
Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life.
Do not set your foot on the path of the wicked,
or walk in the way of evil men."(NIV)

Praying Scripture for our kids, week #12

2011-04-25T21:36:00.002-05:00

Hi there internetz! We were on Spring Break last week & sort of unintentionally took a break from everything :) In reality, it would be nice, at this point in the school year, to be d.o.n.e. with school. Having Spring Break when there's only 4 weeks of school left is a real tease. We didn't do anything extra special most of the week, but on Friday we took a little field trip to the Big Easy and visited the zoo, the Apple Store, and Cafe du Monde. Priorities in action, there. Kids, dad (and kids), THEN mom.

I know right??

(not that I don't appreciate the Apple Store, mind you - but my chances of getting a MacBook are only slightly better than my chances of winning the lottery. So I'd rather have the beignets.)

Other than that, there's not much news - I'm still doing pretty well with everything, and aside from being ready for school to be out, everyone else is, too :)

This week's scripture is one that was just suggested to me today - I loved the visual in this verse, of God holding our hand to keep us from falling - we might stumble, but He's holding us up!

Psalm 37:23-24

"The LORD directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
Though they stumble, they will never fall,
for the LORD holds them by the hand."

So what's on your mirror this week?

Hair today...gone tomorrow

2011-04-15T12:58:00.003-05:00

About two weeks ago, I noticed that my hair was beginning to come out more readily. I anticipated this, and was a bit relieved that it had finally started. It wasn't coming out a lot, but if I pulled on it, it usually came out without much resistance. About a week later, I noticed that it was beginning to come out even more. I wasn't sure how long I could stand it, all those loose hairs floating around. Anyone who knows me knows that I am NOT a fan of loose hair! It still wasn't just *falling* out, but each time I put my hand in my hair, I'd come out with a few strands. But the more it came out, the more I knew it needed to go. Washing it was beginning to be fun, too - I just knew I'd better stock up on Liquid Dran-o!

So, after a few (ok, a lot of) tears and a lot of thinking, I decided it was time. No more waiting, no more anticipating - I was going to let my hair go. I sent a text to my sweet hair wizard to ask her when I might be able to come in to see her; I already had my "bought hair," and wanted her to fix it just right for me before I wore it. Once I got a time, my decision was easy. So last Friday night after dinner, Sarge & I set up shop on the back porch. With my Sunshine at my side, holding my hand like the sweetheart that she is, Sarge whispered, "I love you" and shaved off my increasingly wispy hair. My hair has always been pretty thick, so even though it was thinning there was still plenty - and Sarge was so nice to point out the amount of grey in the piles that fell to the porch. I love that man for his sense of humor.

Although it was bittersweet, it was surprisingly liberating. I didn't mind it like I thought I might. I honestly haven't missed washing it or fixing it (yet!). My wig is so close to my usual style & color that most people wouldn't know it wasn't my real hair. I've invested in a few cute scarves, and I'm sure I'll have a few new hats before the summer. Part of me thinks it might even be better to go without anything. Everyone who knows me knows I don't have any hair anymore, so it almost feels like lying when I cover it up! I'm sure I will get there (especially when the summer heat blazes), but I'm digging the new styles I can try right now, so I'll save bald for later ;)

The kids were pretty cool with the whole thing. The boys being boys, they didn't have much to say except a quick grin & thumbs up! Sunshine was a bit more vocal about it, though. We'd been talking about it & I had shown her the wig and how my hair was coming out. She was pretty excited about watching Sarge shave my head! On Saturday, after my appointment with my hair girl, I wore the wig for a while. Before long, Sunshine told me I needed to take off my hair - that she liked me better with no hair! She said the scarves were pretty, but she just liked me with no hair. I guess that settles it. :)

As for the rest of me, I'm not doing too bad. There are days that are worse than others, but overall, it's really not been too bad yet. I don't have a ton of energy most days, and my appetite isn't that great. My neutrophil count is low right now (and probably will remain low), so I'm supposed to be avoiding everyone's cooties. That's easier said than done, but I'm trying. As long as my kids don't bring home any, I think we'll be fine!

Thank you SO MUCH for your continued prayers and love - you have no idea how much it all means to us right now! I will never be able to express our gratitude for the overflow of grace we have been shown!

Praying Scripture for our kids, Week 11

2011-04-11T22:11:00.002-05:00

2 Corinthians 4:7-9
"We are like clay jars in which this treasure is stored.
The real power comes from God and not from us.
We often suffer, but we are never crushed.
Even when we don't know what to do, we never give up.
In times of trouble, God is with us,
and when we are knocked down, we get up again."
{Contemporary English Version}

Survival

2011-04-08T09:51:00.005-05:00

When I was pregnant with Sunshine, I had something called marginal placenta previa. Even though I had no problems because of it, I was continually monitored throughout the last half of my pregnancy, and we knew that her birth might have to be by c-section. I had also had trouble with low amniotic fluid during the last few weeks, which ended up being the reason they decided she would be born two weeks early. My midwife consulted with one of the doctors, and they felt it was safe enough to proceed with an induction and trial of labor. But after a couple of hours, she returned to my room to tell me that the attending physician had decided it was too risky, and that the safest route to delivery for me and the baby would be surgical. At that point, I stopped asking questions and set my mind into a sort of survival mode. I knew this was not what I wanted, but I knew that it was the only choice - and the safest choice - for both of us. I put everything else out of my mind and kept my thinking matter-of-fact. We were having a c-section, and that was that.

After it was over and I was alone during the night in a drug-induced haze, I remember the room spinning and swaying as I thought, "Maybe they'll just give me fluids to get the amniotic fluid level up, and then I can go home for the weekend."

Then I remembered it was already done. Not the way I wanted, but it was done. She was safe, and I would recover.

A couple months ago, I went into a doctor's appointment expecting to hear, "We need to check that out," but not prepared that by the end of the day, I'd already have a mammogram (two, in fact), an ultrasound, and a core biopsy. Again, my mind entered that same sort of survival mode. "Just get through it, there's not really any other choice."

(I mean, I guess I could have run away...)

Over the last two and a half months, that's pretty much been the way my mind has worked. I find myself telling people what's going on & suddenly realizing that I'm talking about me. I can't seem to get my mind wrapped around the reality that this is my life.

I have cancer. I am going through chemotherapy. I am sick.

"Who am I talking about? Why do I feel so awful? What is going on here? Wake up, you're dreaming!"

This is not what I want. This is hard. I want so much for my life to be work and carpool and school functions and grocery shopping and lunch with friends....all the things that it should be for a young mom of four. Instead, it's getting from one Tuesday to the next while trying to maintain some sense of normalcy in the middle. This week has been especially tough. Don't get me wrong, I am SO GRATEFUL for all of the help that we have - but I want to cook dinner for my family. Heck, I'd settle for having my appetite back so that I could enjoy something Sarge cooked for our family. I want to be at the school for honor's day. I want to feel like taking my girl to lunch with her friends. I want to be able to wash my hair and actually have hair left on my head when I'm done. (though I could totally give up shaving) I want to vacuum my own house. (yes, I said that. Remember it.)

Today I did something I had been thinking about for a while. I changed my Twitter bio. That might not seem like a big deal to you - but I never expected to change my bio. It was perfect the way it was. But if you read just that, you wouldn't know anything about my current survival mode. I needed to admit my circumstance. I guess I kind of think if I say it out loud enough, it'll sink in. So I'm living with cancer. It's not just survival mode. It's living. Even if it's not what I want. Even if it stinks to high heaven. Even if it takes the next 6 months for it to sink in. This is my life. And I will recover.

Praying Scripture for our Kids, Week 10

2011-04-04T22:25:00.002-05:00

Psalm 25:4-5
"Show me Your ways, Lord, teach me Your paths. Guide me in Your truth and teach me, for You are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all day long."

{beautiful}

2011-04-01T19:24:00.003-06:00

Spring is here. Azaleas are blooming. It occurs to me that spring will never be the same for me again. Spring is newness, life, beauty. Now I'll remember those azaleas each year with the same memories of watching my loose hair fall away in the warm spring wind. I'll remember the colorful landscape I surveyed through tall windows as I sat in a reclining chair for three hours every Tuesday.

The changing of nature's guard reminds me of how I'm changed. Each day, my fingers trace the outline of a familiar lump under my skin, and wonder if it's changing. My fingers fall upon a less familiar lump - the one surgically implanted under my skin - and wonder how much more I'll change because of the work it facilitates each week. My hands comb through my hair, each time finding two...three...ten loose hairs. I reach for the concealer to cover the acne explosion thanks to the "preventative" steroid.

So much is changing. New. Different. I wonder how I'm going to feel in a few weeks, when I'm hairless, pimpled, weak. People keep saying it doesn't matter if my hair falls out, that I'm beautiful anyway & the true beauty from the inside will shine even more. I hope they are right. I hope that I can feel that way. But this is unfamiliar, scary, unsettling. I know my worth; I know that I am beautiful simply because God made me. He made every bit of me - even the cancer. And even though this journey is not pretty, it's beautiful, because He made it.

But why does it take the unfamiliar, the unsettling - the ugly - for us to see our true beauty? Why are we so quick to dismiss the beauty in our everyday selves? I hear my friends talk about how much they need to lose weight, highlight their hair, get a tan, lose the wrinkles...why? I know these things make us feel better, but why? Why do we condemn what God created and called very good? {Genesis 1:31}

Where is our worth, and why do we not see the beauty that God has already placed in us?

Get this: I think you are beautiful. Just the way you are - the way God made you. {even if I don't *know* you} Even if you're not at your "goal weight." Even if the hair wizard didn't get the cut & color perfect. Even if you're as pale as Frosty on the brink of Spring Break.

You are beautiful because God made you - not because of the "improvements" you've made - but because you are HIS.

If I am beautiful with no hair and zits everywhere, YOU! ARE! TOO!

Life is too short to always be searching for better. God already has His best inside of you. Embrace the YOU that GOD made, in all of it's glorious imperfection. Because you are beautiful. God said you are. Do you believe Him?

Wordless Wednesday - Azalea Trail Run 2011

2011-03-30T07:00:00.000-06:00

Two of my favorite guys on Saturday - One silly picture and one (very rare) sweet picture :)

Normalcy, and Praying Scripture, Week 9

2011-03-28T21:26:00.002-06:00

I didn't really update again last week; honestly, there wasn't much to say! Surprisingly enough, I felt completely normal for most of the week. Treatment day is Tuesday, so that's always a wash; Wednesday I felt better overall, but was wiped out by the afternoon. But, I felt so good on Thursday - much better than I expected - and that continued for the rest of the week/weekend. I know that may not be "normal" in a few more weeks, but for now I'm quite content with it! God keeps reminding me that He can do immeasurably more than I can ask or imagine. I've been going through the Bible Study "Faithful, Abundant & True," and Priscilla Shirer's lessons were based on exactly that. She reminds us of that verse (Ephesians 3:20), and that God's best for us can be beyond anything we can think to ask or even imagine. She challenged us to believe and pray that God can and will do beyond beyond in our situation! If God chooses to go beyond beyond & allow me very little side effects, obviously I'm cool with that. :) But, if He chooses to give me a few good days interspersed with bad, I'm cool with that, too. He's already shown me that He can and will carry me the whole way. I'm believing that He is abundantly more, regardless!

Normalcy has also re-visited with sibling rivalry. I'm so outdone with the boys right now. They just cannot seem to show any sort of compassion or kindness to each other - heaven forbid actual love! Tomorrow they have a list of chores to keep them busy when they get home from school. I would like to think that they will heed my suggestion of helping each other. Our circumstance now is calling them to more responsibility, but I want them to rise to the occasion not because mom is sick, but because they see the need to take that responsibility within our family. We'll see. Today, as they aggravated each other and me for the eleventy millionth time, this verse came to mind:

Ephesians 4:31-32
Stop being bitter and angry and mad at others. Don't yell at one another or curse each other or ever be rude. Instead, be kind and merciful, and forgive others, just as God forgave you because of Christ. (CEV)

I know they are brothers. I know they are going to get annoyed with each other and probably won't be BFF's any time soon. But treating each other with respect and kindness should be normal. So that's what we'll be praying this week :)

In which I return to photo blogging for a day

2011-03-24T07:02:00.004-06:00

I am not sure when I last posted pictures on the blog; considering that's about all I posted for a very long time, I figured it was about time to do just that! I actually had a photo to add with my last post, but I forgot it! So, without further ado, I give you pictures:

This is a (very small) portion of my Army. Please notice that one of my sweet, crafty friends made mini-team shirts for Sunshine & her daughter, right in the front! I love these people, and the many others who are not pictured.

Many of you have already seen the pictures below, but I wanted to post them here as well for those who have not seen them.

One of our children's ministry volunteers made this bracelet for me to match the shirts Sunday. I wore it Tuesday with my ID bracelet - one being proof of the battle, the other, a reminder of my army!

Our Children's Minister learned wire craft from his father. He usually makes names or angels for the kids & leaders, but he can make just about anything, and he has blessed me immensely with these little reminders over the past few weeks:
Ephesians 3:20

Yes, please!

1 Peter 5:7

Praying Scripture For Our Kids, Week 8

2011-03-21T19:51:00.002-06:00

One of my biggest prayers for my kids is that the outside, worldly influences would be tempered liberally by God's Word in their lives. This week's passage offers just that:

Proverbs 4:23-27
Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.
Keep your mouth free of perversity;
keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
Let your eyes look straight ahead;
fix your gaze directly before you.
Give careful thought to the paths for your feet
and be steadfast in all your ways.
Do not turn to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil.

Hissy Fits and The Army

2011-03-20T14:44:00.005-06:00

I know I usually don't post on the weekends, but I'm finding that things will be different now, so posting on the weekends might be best :) This past week has been very interesting, as you can imagine. Mostly it's been ok - better than I might have anticipated in some ways. I'm finding my feet in this "new normal" and hoping the rug doesn't get pulled out from under them. :)

I had my first treatment on Tuesday. Sarge & I were at the treatment center for about 6 hours total; supposedly it will go quicker in a couple weeks. The treatment starts with pre-medication for allergic reaction & nausea, which includes Benadryl. Benadryl just happened to be the first thing, and let me tell you, I really didn't care what they did after that! Aside from being sleepy/tired, I really didn't experience many other side effects. I know that will most likely increase as the cumulative nature of the treatments takes effect; Wednesday, Thursday & Friday had their moments, but overall I think it was not a bad week. Sarge & I even enjoyed an anniversary lunch together on Friday! This weekend has been great, and I'm hopeful that I can continue to have at least 3 good days each week.

In one of my first meetings with Dr. B, he told me about a lady who had just been through this about a year ago. He wanted to put us in contact if he could. I agreed, and he contacted her to see if she would mind him giving me her number. Of course, he said, he knew what she would say - "absolutely!" - and she did. :) He gave me her number, and I had the intention to call her, but had not had a chance yet. On Tuesday morning, Dr. B came to the chemo suite to see how I was doing. He said he did not know that I would be there that day, but that this same lady had just been in to see him earlier that morning & brought a book she wanted him to pass on to me. Inside, she wrote a very sweet note & Isaiah 41:10. I was very encouraged by her thoughtfulness, and Dr. B agreed that the timing was absolutely a God thing!

Since I was sleepy & a bit out of it, I put the book aside with the intent of reading it later. Later came on Thursday night, after dinner. After 3 days of fatigue and a couple other uncomfortable symptoms, I was done. I screamed & cried & pitched a big ol' hissy fit with God. I told Him I did not want this, I didn't know why He thought I could handle it, and I didn't know why He had to pick me. This was just the first week, and I was completely overwhelmed at the thought of doing this for 6 more months. Sarge comforted me as best he could & left me to be alone while he took care of the normal evening routine. After a long hot shower and more fit pitchin', I decided to sit down and be still - something God is really working on me about. I grabbed that devotional book and began to read. In the introduction, the authors reminded me to "Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7) They explained that the Greek word for "cast" in this context means "to throw upon," and that sometimes that's exactly what we feel like doing - just throwing everything at God! That's exactly what I felt like Thursday night. I felt like I was throwing it all at Him...

...which is exactly what HE wants!

He wants me to cast it all on Him! Matthew 11:28-30 tells us the same, and goes on to tell us that we need to take His yolk instead of ours, that His yolk is easy and His burden is light. He wants to carry this burden for me - He knows I cannot do it on my own strength, and He does not expect me to...which brings me to this next part...

This weekend has been great - I feel like "old" myself and I've been able to do all those "normal" mom things that I couldn't do as much last week. This morning, we went to church, early as usual, and I was greeted by a very surprising sight. Black t-shirts, everywhere. Each one imprinted in pink with my name - my Team name - a pink ribbon, and and Isaiah 43:1.

Um, WoW!

To say I was overwhelmed would be an understatement. My church family, my army, was showing outwardly what I already knew, but the physical sight of so many warriors ready for battle was utterly overwhelming! I am humbled and amazed to see such a tangible show of love and support.

So while I was throwing all of my junk back at God & having my hissy fit, He was preparing to show me outwardly just how much He loves me through my church family. How's that for the greatest love ever?

I am a private person; I don't like being in the spotlight. I don't like having all the attention on me. I'd be content if no one ever read my blog or knew who I was. I'd be content not to have my own Team. I'd be perfectly content if no one knew who that "36 year old mother of four with breast cancer" was. But God knows me. And He loves me. And He prepared an army to stand firm with me as an outward show of HIS love. I'm not sure I could ask for more than that. I'm being reminded (in a BIG way) that God can do exactly what Ephesians 3:20 says He can - exceedingly, abundantly above and beyond anything I could ask or imagine.

I think I might just be able to make it through the next 6 months.

Praying Scripture, Week 7, and an update :)

2011-03-14T16:01:00.002-06:00

Well, last week was a bust.

I'm sorry :)

Last Monday through Wednesday, the kids were out of school for Mardi Gras. No, we didn't "Laissez les bon temps rouler!" - we usually don't get into all that. We had planned to go away & visit our families since the kids had a a few days off. But because I was still not feeling well from my procedure, and because of a few other assorted road blocks, we ended up staying home. Then on Monday, Dude & I ended up being under the weather most of the day! So we spent that whole day on the couch, then Tuesday was kind of a wash just playing catch-up & trying to feel better. Wednesday, we were actually all feeling great, but there was a huge storm system that rolled through that morning. Since I was feeling the best I had all week & we couldn't get out, I spent almost the whole day straightening up the house & catching up on laundry. I never thought I'd be happy to clean my own house myself, but after a week "off" it was nice to be productive! We did end up finally going "home" this weekend & spending time with our families. We celebrated both my nephew and my dad's birthdays, so there was LOTS of cake on both sides of our family!

Now we're back home, all better, and back in our normal routine. All just in time for my treatments to begin tomorrow! :) I'll tell you what - it's amazing what all happens when mama gets sick. Right before my port procedure, Sunshine was under the weather; nothing terrible, but just really not herself. Then Dude & I were sick last Monday. Then this morning, Dude woke up with abdominal pain on the lower right side - yes, the "bad" side! And Sarge was at the doc trying to determine what's going on with his gastrointestinal system. Thankfully, Dude does not have appendicitis, and although we are still waiting to hear what the doc says about Sarge, we are hopeful it's something easily treated. But see how when it rains, it pours?! Mama wants to take care of everyone, but after tomorrow, mama will need those peeps taking care of her. :) Y'all just keep praying HEALTHY prayers for us! My kids are rarely sick, and Sarge even less so, so it's obvious that Satan is trying to shake us (me!) right now!

SOOOOO....the thing I'm supposed to be keeping up with? It's back now :) And I found a good one last week:

Jeremiah 1:7-8
"But the LORD said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the LORD."

How great is that word for our kids? (and ourselves!) We can speak BOLDLY with HIM! My prayer is that my boys will speak the truth, even when it's not popular or cool - that they will always be bold for Christ, with His words in their mouths and hearts!

So, what are you praying for your kids this week?

Reality

2011-03-04T09:13:00.003-06:00

This is going to be short and won't be my most peppy post ever. Hopefully it will at least make sense.

Wednesday morning I had the port placed just under my left collar bone. This will make it easier to administer the chemotherapy without having to start a new IV every time. The will most likely be able to draw blood from the port as well, minimizing "sticks," which is good. The procedure went well, but anesthesia is still kicking my behind. I hate this feeling, and I hate not being able to be "normal" for just a little bit longer. We met with Dr. B again yesterday morning & set the time for chemo to begin. We then had "chemo teaching." I'm so glad all of these people are so happy and friendly and supportive, because that was probably one of my lowest points. Once again, reality set in hard & fast. I KNOW this is temporary. I KNOW God is going to take care of me. I KNOW I have an army standing behind and beside me to help me through this. I KNOW Isaiah 43:1-2 and Ephesians 3:20. But - reality is a cruel little monster that drags my faith right down into the mud. I know this walk is by faith, though, not by sight. What I see is scary and overwhelming. Faith is not fear; yet my flesh doubts.

So I'll stick with facts instead of pity - I'll start on the 15th, and will continue every week for twelve weeks. I chose Tuesday since I don't work during the day on Wednesday, so I'd have both days to rest & recover. Hopefully I will still be able to maintain a semi-normal schedule, but I know that I may have to bend even more. After the weekly treatment, there will be a second round, every 3 weeks for twelve weeks.

For now, pray that once I begin, the side effects will be easy to manage and that (most importantly) my family stays healthy. I have one super spectacular support system who will no doubt soften reality's blow.

Studio MCA Designs

2011-03-01T22:00:00.002-06:00

I've been privileged to meet lots of great people on these here interwebs. And a few of them I've actually been able to meet in person! One of those people is Melissa of MCA Designs. She is a multi-talented lady, a sweet friend to many - and she loves Jesus! Right now she is hosting a giveaway for one of her personalized kid's tees, just in time for Easter! I've been scanning her site, and I'm not sure I could stick with Easter on this one - there are SO many cute designs to choose from! So head over & check out her site and her etsy store & see what super cute item you can't live without! But whatever you do, don't enter the giveaway. Imma win that one ;)

Praying Scripture for our kids, week 6

2011-02-28T21:09:00.002-06:00

This week I've chosen a familiar passage. I like this one because it's so important for us to live in HIS Spirit daily, so that the world can see His fruit in us!

Galatians 5:22-26
But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.
Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another. (NLT)

So what are you praying for your kid's this week?

God's Hand

2011-02-25T05:03:00.004-06:00

I'm starting this post at 5am Friday morning because I have already been awake for an hour with no sign of going back to sleep. So I figured I'd go ahead and get up and see what my brain has going on this early. So far, it's got way more going on than it needs to. I mean, SLEEP would be so much more awesome. But whatev. I see coffee in my (very near) future. Especially since I have to by out of the house in about an hour and a half...

(Also? The people in my house are very noisy sleepers. It's a good thing I'm usually asleep and don't hear all this junk. I'd never get any rest if I had to listen to them all night.)

Most of you know that I met with the medical oncologist (Dr. B) yesterday (Thursday). I am not sure what else to say about him except that I absolutely LOVED him. I mean, I already knew I was in good hands with the surgical oncologist (Dr. D); she's pretty amazing. But this guy really brought it home to me that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Some people have asked why I am not at the private hospital which is much closer to us; the simple reason is that our insurance would not cover most of that. I'd prefer only driving 20 minutes as opposed to nearly an hour; but there's no way that we could ever come close to affording to pay out-of-pocket for the major expense that is cancer care. Some of you will recall that I had some issues with the care I received at this hospital during my stay with Sunshine. So far this time, I have had excellent care. Nearly everyone that I encounter is helpful, knowledgeable, compassionate. This is all very new to me, and they never assume that I know what I'm doing! It helps that Sarge is usually with me to break the ice with a joke (or twelve...sometimes he just can't stop...God bless him!) He's such a charmer :)

So, my appointment - Dr. B was so thorough. He came in & talked with us for a while, then did a physical exam, then came back in to discuss the treatment plan. He never acted rushed, and he really listened to everything I said. During the initial consultation, he asked about my work. When I told him where I worked (at our church) and what I did, he said, "I'm a praying doctor. I believe in the power of prayer." That alone spoke volumes to me. But before we left, he took it one step further. He asked if he could pray with us. Well, certainly! It was just one more confirmation for me that God is going with me every. step. of. the. way.

This appointment was to create a treatment plan, and we did establish that. But last week, there was a little kink thrown in the mix. When we met with Dr. D, she mentioned that there was a tiny spot on the top of my skull that showed up on my bone scan. Since breast cancer will often metastasize to bone, this was something she needed to investigate. In her opinion, it would be very unlikely that, given my early stage cancer, it would have metastasized to a place so far away from the original area. But, she didn't know why it would show up that way, so we needed to do some additional testing to check it out. She sent me for an x-ray the same day & told me she would call me if she needed anything else. I was so excited about the other news that day that I really put that part out of my mind. She didn't seem overly concerned about it, so I wasn't either. I didn't even tell anyone about that little snippet. I figured there was no need to mention it unless there was a reason.

So the next morning I went to my Bible study, and everyone was happy about the good prognosis from the day before. As we were about to start the video portion of the lesson, my phone rang. It was Dr. D, who explained that the x-ray "looked funny," and that we needed to proceed with additional testing. I'd need an MRI of my head and a PET scan. If you don't know what a PET scan is, that's the test they do to look for cancer in your body. My hope sort of tanked with her call. She was so reassuring and caring, and I knew she just had to be thorough...but still. I was handling having cancer in one place; I was not ready to deal with having it in another.

As I tried to focus on God's sovereignty and love instead of fear, He said to me - very clearly: "That's where I have My hand on you!"

Uh, wow. What a revelation, huh?!

Of course the human part of me doubted: "Even if it's cancer? Is that what Your hand looks like?" That night I cried out to Him in my fear and doubt. I still did NOT want to tell anyone else about it (except Sarge, since he was there). I turned my iPhone on shuffle and got in the shower. God met me right there in my bathroom with song after song to remind me that HE'S GOT ME! I'm telling you - it was surreal. I mean, "shuffle" doesn't have a mood indicator or anything, so how else do you explain that one song right after the other played in continuous encouragement just for me? That was GOD, y'all.

The next day I took the day off from work as a mental health day. Sunshine and I went to the park with a sweet friend and her daughter. She asked me a few questions about my appointment and promised not to say anything else after that. Good right? No more talking about the elephant in the room.

A little while later as we watched the girls play, a few other moms arrived with their kids for a play date. One of these moms caught my eye immediately; I'm sure she catches lots of people's eyes immediately these days...she was completely bald. I mean, nothing. You knew looking at her that there was only one reason that she would be so completely bald. I tried not to stare, but it was so evident that God had placed her there just for me. She was happy, she was energetic - she. was. beautiful!

From that point on, I did not worry about the "extra" spot on my skull. I knew that, even if it was cancer, the treatment that was already being planned would take care of it as well, so there was no need to worry about it. God allowed the next week to be so good - no worry, no anxiety, no fear. I almost felt "normal" again!

Fast forward to Thursday, the day of the PET scan & my appointment with Dr. B. I had spent Wednesday avoiding carbs & sugar & trying my best to eat mostly protein & drink water; the PET uses a glucose tracer to highlight cancer, so it's best not to have extra sugar in your body. That was hard. I'm a carb lover, y'all. Add to that the "nothing after midnight" instructions for Thursday morning...I was not the happiest camper! I also didn't know about the yummy barium smoothie I'd have as a morning snack...although that wasn't the worst thing I've ever ingested, I certainly wouldn't ask for another! The PET itself takes no time - the best part was sitting in a quiet room *alone* for an hour while waiting for all of the glusoce & barium to be absorbed. I told Sarge that, since my appointment with Dr. B was right after, he'd best meet me in the lobby with lunch. Bless that man - a Five Guys burger has never tasted so good!

When we met with Dr. B, he confirmed that the PET showed no cancer anywhere in my body except the breast. He said that the spot on my skull was most likely a spot that has been there my whole life. The MRI on Friday morning gave further confirmation that this was an isolated spot only on my skull, and that my brain was FINE (in spite of what the peanut gallery might say!). Both Dr. B & Dr. D said that there was no reason to investigate this spot any further at this point; a biopsy would delay my treatment, and if it happened to be cancer, the treatment would take care of it anyway. So that's that.

Later Friday morning I met with the research nurse to sign all of the consent forms for the clinical trial. As far as we knew, everything was on go for beginning that as soon as possible. However, once she submitted everything, the trial director stated he would not sign off on my participation unless the spot on my skull is biopsied & is negative. Obviously, we all said no. So I will not be part of the clinical trial; that's a little disappointing. I thought it would be great to be part of research, but I guess that's not meant to be. I will still be receiving the same treatment anyway, I just won't be a lab rat :) There are some extra steps that I won't have to endure, though, so that's a plus. I would have had an additional biopsy at the time of my port procedure, and there would be no question that after the treatment is completed, I would have to have surgery, even if the tumor is gone. I still probably will, but there's nothing absolute about it apart from the trial.

So, the very long story short - here's the deal: I will have a port inserted on Wednesday morning. This will make it easier to administer the chemo each time without having to start a new IV. After that, probably sometime the next week, I will begin my treatments. I will call Dr. B on Monday to get all of that set up; they had deferred the scheduling to the research nurse, but by the time I got word Friday afternoon that we weren't going that route, it was too late to get it set up through Dr. B's office.

So things are finally moving along & I'm ready to get going. I'm nervous, but I know without a doubt God's got me. He's got the proof right on my head :)

Praying Scripture for our kids, Week 5

2011-02-21T20:29:00.003-06:00

I've been wanting to share a couple of great resources that have encouraged me in praying the Word for my kids. I hope you'll find them helpful!

While They Were Sleeping is designed as a 12 week guide for praying 12 character traits (with Scripture) for your children. I've read through this one a couple of times now & really enjoy it - it even has suggested activities with each trait to help your kids understand each concept.

Warrior Prayers is an excellent resource for praying the Word specifically for boys. They also have a Facebook Page for daily encouragement!

And now for this week's verse:

Psalm 141: 3-4

"Lord, guard my mouth.
Keep watch over the door of my lips.
Don't let my heart be drawn to what is evil.
Don't let me join men who do evil.
They don't do what is right.
Don't let me join them and eat their fancy food."
(NIrV)

We always seem to need the reminder to watch how we speak to each other, and to watch how we let others (including entertainment) influence our behavior and speech. I love this passage in The Message version as well!

"Post a guard at my mouth, God,
set a watch at the door of my lips.
Don't let me so much as dream of evil
or thoughtlessly fall into bad company.
And these people who only do wrong—
don't let them lure me with their sweet talk!"
(The Message)

So what's on your heart this week? What are you praying for your kids?

Results, Plans, and Temporary Inconveniences

2011-02-15T18:26:00.010-06:00

Last Friday, I was supposed to meet with my surgical oncologist to discuss her findings and create a treatment plan. I arrived for my 11:00 appointment only to discover that I had been scheduled for 4 weeks instead of 2 - meaning, I did not have an appointment that day. I was frustrated and disappointed. I was so ready to know what we're dealing with and how we're going to take care of it. Everyone knew I was going Friday - there was a huge build-up, and an even bigger let down. They were going to work me in and see me anyway, but the wait would have been at least 2 hours. I opted to reschedule, praying that today - even still as a work-in - would be easier and far less waiting. As upset as I was to have to wait, I knew God's timing is perfect, and for whatever divine reason, I wasn't supposed to be seen on Friday.

Today finally gave me the answers I've been waiting nearly a month to receive. I won't get into all the medical mumbo-jumbo of it all, because most of you won't have a clue what it means anyway. But mostly, it's because I don't fully understand it all yet, so I don't want to mess it up!

The long and the short of it is that the type of cancer I have is very treatable. My surgeon called it "standard, garden-variety" breast cancer, ductal carcinoma. It's stage 1, maybe stage 2a depending on which report she referenced (those include my bone scan, MRI, ultrasound & mammogram). There are actually 2 different spots; one being the palpable one (2.5cm) that was biopsied, but there was a smaller one detected on the MRI, basically in the same area. In my first visit with her, she told me up front that based on my age alone, chemotherapy would be recommended. I'm only 36. If we can catch all of the cancer cells now, the odds of a full recovery with no recurrence are very high. Plus, the type of cancer I have will often respond very well to chemo, shrinking and maybe even completely removing the tumor itself. This would mean that any surgery I might need later would be far less extensive than it would be now.

Let me take just stop right here and tell the men-folk (all three of them) they might want to skip this next paragraph. I'm about to talk a bit more about my ta-tas, and I'm just giving you fair warning. Alrighty then? Okay.

So, I'm kind of attached to these things. I mean, they aren't much, but they mean kind of a lot to me, so I really would rather not have to part with one or both of them. It's like I have my own personal trophies for double-breastedly nourishing four little humans. I imagine even a lumpectomy would reduce my poor Righty - she always was the Top Producer. I feel so bad for her to have been poked and jabbed and bruised already, bless her heart. She has served me (and my babies) well. So for now, I get to keep her. And that's a pretty good thing. I'd really like to keep them both for as long as I can.

Anyway....

But I have to say that chemo was the one thing that I was dreading the most. Surgery? I've had a c-section. I can deal with surgery. Radiation? Time consuming, and I'm sure it probably has it's cons, but it seems manageable. Chemo? Uh, not so much. And not just for the reason of vanity you might be thinking.

Two of the main side effects of chemo are nausea and vomiting. Have I ever mentioned my extreme hatred for vomit? I'd rather have fever, chills and body aches than throw up. I think even in five pregnancies, I might have thrown up 5 times. I have issues even watching my own kids throw up. Little was sick a little while back & threw up in my van on the way to church one Wednesday night. I was about 15 minutes from home. My choices were: a) pull over & clean it up; b) drive another 15 minutes while smelling vomit (and gagging) to get Sarge to clean it up; or c) drive home and smell vomit (and gag) the whole way, and wait for Sarge to clean it up. I opted for A only because it was about thirty degrees that night & the thought of driving with the windows down was not at all appealing, nor did that alleviate the smell (or gag reflex). But can I tell you how many times I stopped and gagged, nay, nearly vomited, myself? Yeah. I. hate. vomit. Anyone who is really close to me knows that I don't do throw up.

But of course there's that whole 'losing the hair" thing. I don't think I'm a vain person. No really. I mean, I don't ever leave my house without make-up, but I'm not high maintenance. I'm a girly girl, but I'm also a minimalist; I am simple, easy, and low-maintenance with my beauty regimen (and I use that term very loosely!). But I do love my hair. We've lived here for 16 years and only in the last 2 years did I finally find my very own hair wizard. And I LOVE her. (Hi Ash!) I am not religious about going to the salon - I still only go every 3 months or so, but I don't want to give that up. Now that Sunshine is at the age to be getting regular haircuts, I was really looking forward to taking her & having our Girl's Days together. I'm still planning to go one last time before I get started with the treatments. I may even go crazy and chop it all off in preparation - who knows?

So am I thrilled with the possibilities? Not really. BUT. This is a very good scenario. Do I want to be bald and feel like crap for 4-6 months? No. But this is temporary. Once this is over, hopefully, it will be OVER. We'll have to wait and see how the cancer responds to the chemo to decide on surgery; most likely there will still be some type of surgery. As for radiation, the jury is still out. I think the results from chemo and surgery will determine that. Next Thursday I will meet the medical oncologist to discuss the chemo & how we'll proceed from here. They are encouraging me to participate in a clinical trial for breast cancer therapy - the surgeon said it is basically the same drugs that I would be getting, but in a trial of timing and variations in a more controlled setting. Since this is a teaching and research facility, I'm pretty open to being a guinea pig - if they are ever going to find a cure for this disease, somebody has to be one :)

There was one more detail that I was almost more anxious to receive than anything else. During my first visit, the surgeon recommended doing the BRCA analysis to determine genetic predisposition for breast cancer. The test was recommended because both my mom and I have been diagnosed; one alone wouldn't necessarily mean that there is a higher risk, but both together merit investigation. The results of that test show that there is NO genetic mutation detected. That means that Sunshine will NOT be at any higher risk than any other woman! I was so happy to hear that my sweet girl will not have to think about this any more than the average woman!

Thank you for all of your prayers. I cannot tell you how much they have meant to me! God has been so faithful to remind me of His love and protection every. single. time. I turn around. From prayers to Bible verses to encouraging words - He is with us! Thank you to each of you for helping to remind me of that!

Praying Scripture for our kids, week 4

2011-02-14T21:12:00.003-06:00

I don't know about your house, but sibling rivalry is an every day occurrence here. Some days are better than others, but every day has some sort of rivalry, competition, or unkind words. So when I was thinking about what to post for today - Valentine's Day - I wanted something that had to do with love. I just wasn't satisfied with most of the ones that came to mind. But today, Baby Be Blessed posted this verse - and that was that :)

May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you. May he strengthen your hearts so that you will be blameless and holy in the presence of our God and Father when our Lord Jesus comes with all his holy ones.1 Thessalonians 3:12-13
What about you? What are you praying for your kids this week? And what do you do to keep the peace with your siblings?

Of Bad Days and Glory

2011-02-10T15:51:00.005-06:00

Most of you probably didn't know that Monday was a really emotional day for me. I didn't get up that morning expecting it to be, but it was. I went in early that morning for my MRI, and even though I couldn't eat anything after midnight, I wasn't really hungry - so that made me happy! ;) But once I got in for the MRI things began to change. Questions were asked - simple, straightforward, necessary questions - but they sucker-punched me, right in the heart. I made it through the MRI just fine; but as I walked out, I felt like I was walking in slow motion. All I could think of was how much I wanted to curl up somewhere & weep.

Sarge took Sunshine in with him, so I had to swing by his office to get her before heading home. And, true to my Monday "off day," there were errands to be done. I made a necessary stop for a few groceries and barely made it back to the van before the tears started. I try very hard not to let Sunshine see me upset; not because it upsets her, but because she asks eleventy million questions. She is so motherly - she just wants to know what's wrong, and I imagine, how she can fix it.

Once we got home, I warmed up leftover pizza for both of us & planted myself on the couch with a warm blanket. Thank goodness Sunshine was very happy to draw & watch Olivia on TV. Since we're so busy most other days, watching those preschool shows is always a treat for her. I was able to rest and let my mind & heart "be still."

The whole day, I kept remembering that I needed to post the Bible verse(s) for this week, since it was Monday. I honestly had not given it much thought or prayer; but I knew I still needed to get it done. My heart really wasn't in it at all. I felt like I could skip it - everyone would understand. I mean, when I started that I didn't really know the turn my life would take the very next week. Surely everyone would understand if I didn't do it.

But God gently reminded me that this was not for everyone else; this was for ME. It was my way of being accountable to pray Scripture for my own children...and that was something that, blog or not, I should be doing anyway. He showed me that those thoughts were Satan's way of discouraging me from sharing God's Word - Satan doesn't want God's Word repeated! He wants me to feel defeated & forget about praying. He doesn't want me to remind myself or anyone else about the Living, Powerful Word of God!

So then I asked the Lord to show me what verse I needed to post. He brought to mind Matthew 5:16. This is verse means so much to me since my kids are in the public school system, in a largely secular environment. Many of their teachers and friends are Christians, but that doesn't stop the worldly influence. I want them to be His Light shining in a very dark world. Good enough, right?

"Let your light so SHINE before men, that they may see
your good works and glory your Father in Heaven."
That's what I thought. But right after I posted, God revealed something else to me. He showed me that that verse was also for ME.

"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see
your good works and GLORIFY your Father in Heaven."
I can't allow Satan to snuff out MY Light. Yep, I'm gonna have emotionally, physically, and spiritually difficult days. After all, this is a battle. But I cannot let Satan take from me what God has ordained. I've already seen the last page of this story. I know Who wins.

This whole thing? It's for HIS GLORY. If just one person is changed because they see what God has done and is doing for me, then it's all worth it. I cannot let Satan discourage me from sharing God's faithfulness and love. I have a ton more to share about how God is using a Bible study that was taped a year and a half ago to assure me of every. single. promise that He's given me over the last 3 weeks. Coincidence? Nah. It's totally God. And let me tell you, HIS STORY will be told!

Praying Scripture for our Kids, Week 3

2011-02-07T21:41:00.002-06:00

This week I've posted Matthew 5:16 for our kids:

"Let your light so SHINE before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in Heaven."

In the cesspool that is the world, those little Lights need to shine as brightly as they can! So what are you praying this week?

What it's all about

2011-01-31T11:25:00.004-06:00

Back in December I mentioned that I had attended Lifeway's Deeper Still conference in Birmingham. While I was listening to Priscilla Shirer speak during session 2, I began to cry. And cry. And cry. I wasn't sure why, because what she was saying didn't necessarily speak to me because of a specific circumstance in my life. But still, it spoke. And Sunday, while I was driving to church (alone, since I have to get there early) God reminded me of that.

She talked about faith, trust, obedience, and friends. She talked about God asking us to step out completely in faith, trusting Him without knowing anything. Knowing what God has called us to, but seeing that there's a huge gap between us and that calling. We can give it a half-hearted go, believing it's not going to work. We can let those around us tell us not to keep going, allowing them to discourage us and keep us from believing that God can do what He says He will do. Or, we can step out in faith, trusting in a God who is Able, and surround ourselves with friends who say, "I'm gonna help you find a way to cross that gap" and "I'm gonna cheer for you and encourage you as you walk with Him." There is nothing that can be held back if we truly, completely trust Him. There's no halfway - it's all or nothing.

As I listened, I knew that there wasn't a present circumstance for me to apply this, but something in my heart knew that soon God would be calling me to a new and unfamiliar road, a Gap that I'd have to trust Him to fill. I tucked this away, knowing that God had a purpose for me hearing this.

When God reminded me of this Sunday morning, this song was on the radio - when He speaks, He shouts -

Our God
Water You turned into wine
Open the eyes of the blind
There’s no one like You
None like You
Into the darkness You shine
Out of the ashes we rise
There’s no one like You
None like You

CHORUS
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…

Into the darkness you shining
Out of the ashes we Rise
There’s no One like You
None like You.

Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…

BRIDGE
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
What can stand against?

My God is bigger and stronger and higher than ANY circumstance I face. It's through HIS power that I can weather these storms. People keep telling me that I'm so brave, so inspirational; but really, I'm just trusting in the One who will stand with me and for me. I'm human; this is not easy (and I'm only just beginning). But God is IT. I cannot imagine dealing with something this radical without HIM! When people look at me, I don't want them to see me - I want them to see His Light shining in my life. Because that's what this is all about - it's not about me, it's not about breast cancer - it's about God showing His glory to those in desperate need of Him. Jesus Christ glorified is what this is all about!

Praying Scripture for our Kids, week 2

2011-01-31T10:52:00.002-06:00

"Thank you" seems like such an inadequate phrase. But since I am at a loss to think of anything more adequate, it will have to do. You people amaze me. God amazes me. And although I will never know how many people are praying for us, I am so incredibly grateful for every. single. one.

This weekend has had a range of emotion - while it's mostly a relief to let the cat out of the bag, it's still not easy. Because now we're in that "everyone knows, but what do we say?" awkward stage. I do NOT want anyone to avoid talking to us! But sufficient for now are the most simple sentiments, "I'm praying for you," "We love you," "When the time comes, I'll help you." Or just a hug. It's been overwhelming to have so many messages of love and support - in a good way, mind you, but still overwhelming. I'd sort of like to slip back into anonymity! But I won't...I can't...some people won't allow it. :)

But what I will do is attempt to maintain a sense of normalcy. And since the new thing here is covering our kids with God's Word, let's continue that!

This week, I am praying the same verses that have spoken to me so much in the last little bit. God has graced me with His peace, and I want my children to rest in the same.

Isaiah 43:1-2
But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, Jacob,
he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze."

I love the picture in verse one - "I have called you by name, YOU ARE MINE."

Isaiah 26:3
"You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You." (I'll probably change the word "stayed" to "focused" for their index cards. I think that might convey the idea better.)

So what's going on in your home this week? What Scripture are you praying for your children?

2011 could be The Greatest Year Ever for our family

2011-01-27T21:18:00.010-06:00

So, I've mentioned a few times about how we start out certain years & say certain things about the way things are gonna be & then BAM! God decides to throw us a curve ball.

2011 is shaping up to be one of those years.

And let me just go ahead & tell you - NO, I am NOT pregnant :)

I could start at the beginning, telling you the whole long story to get to the point. But how about I just cut to the chase?

I have breast cancer.

Did you see that coming? I'd like to say I didn't, but the truth is, I've always known that was a possibility. Many of you know that my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer 11 years ago. That was her first and only instance of breast cancer, although she has battled recurrent oral & neck cancer for the past few years. Most doctors will say that because my mom had it I am not necessarily at a higher risk; I don't know if that's really true. But somehow I knew that at some point, it would be my turn.

Back in the fall, I was drying my hair as my hand brushed across my chest. It was odd, really, because my fingers fell straight to this one spot. And there it was. An unmistakable lump. A lump that I tried my hardest to ration away...but no matter how many times I checked, it never disappeared.

Since it was time for my annual check up, I called to make that appointment. But just before that appointment, I received a call informing me that my caregiver, C, would be taking medical leave & I would need to reschedule with another doctor. I knew that if I was about to go through something this life changing, I wanted to be with someone who I knew and trusted implicitly. So I declined & waited for her to return. Just before Christmas I called to see if I could reschedule with her yet. Yes, they said, how about January 20th, 8:15am? I was relived & hopeful that there would be no more interruptions.

So last Thursday me & Sunshine headed downtown bright & early. It took a while to see C because they are in the process of transferring to digital records; but once she came in the room, I knew I had made the right decision to wait for her. Everything about her is reassuring - she is wise, compassionate, gentle, and honest. She immediately called to see if the Imaging Center could fit me in for a mammogram the same day. They said they could; she even offered to go with me since Sarge was out of town that day. She did not want me to be alone, but I assured her I would be fine.

I was fine; I had my little Sunshine distraction; but the reality of the unknown sank in hard as I waited. I tried not to cry; I didn't want Sunshine to worry or be upset. She wasn't, but she did ask lots of questions - further distraction. :) God blessed us both that day with a supernatural patience on her part. She was absolutely fabulous though a very long day of waiting; and of course she was a darling charmer to everyone she met!

After we checked in, we still had to wait a while to be called back for the mammogram; while I was waiting, C came over with a referral & an appointment date for a surgeon. She could not stay long; but from that referral, I knew that she expected this little lump to be something. Even though she told me different, I knew.

More waiting, then finally it was time for my Very First Mammogram (which - hear me now - WAS NOT AWFUL, THANKYOUVERYMUCH!! Stop procrastinating and go have yours already!).

{ahem}

After that, they did an ultrasound. This is when things started to spin. The surgeon actually came in during this time; this was her surgery day & she just happened to be available while I was there. Interesting, huh? She told me that she had just looked at the films with the radiologist & the bottom line is that it's concerning & we need to check it out. And since everyone was available, how about we take care of that today?

Um, today?!

They gave me a few minutes to decide & told me to take Sunshine for some lunch & come back in half an hour. They'd do the biopsy when we got back, & if I couldn't get someone to watch Sunshine, they would take care of her, too - no worries.

Wow. Today. Everything. Um...wow.

I had not thought I'd be treated to the entire gamut of testing on the same day, so I had not wanted to tell anyone else. But now I knew I would have to tell someone; I really wanted Sunshine to be with someone she knew & trusted. Although the staff at the center was very friendly and accommodating, it would be best if I had help. So, I reluctantly called a sweet friend & she did not hesitate to come sit with Sunshine. I called Sarge to let him know what was going on; even though I didn't want to, I knew he deserved to know then rather than waiting until he got home that night.

The biopsy itself was not bad - but the gravity of the situation was beginning to set in.

With this biopsy, I was forever marked. No longer was I "the picture of health" - there was now a smear on my largely unblemished medical record.

Seven hours later and emotionally spent, I was finally heading home. I knew - I mean, I knew. I didn't need to wait for the results, I knew. Of course I prayed that it wouldn't be; but I knew.

Through the week (and even in the months before), I had more peace than I've ever felt in my entire life. God was with me. Every time I wavered, He brought Scripture to my mind that confirmed His goodness, His love, and His Sovereignty.

Isaiah 43:1-2
But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, Jacob,
he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze."

2 Corinthians 4:7-10
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.

Isaiah 26:3
You will keep in perfect peace
those whose minds are steadfast,
because they trust in you.

And the morning of my appointment? Jesus Calling gave me this little gem, paraphrased: Jeremiah 29:11 - "I know the plans I have for you - and they are good."

January 27th will now join January 20th as one of the most difficult days in my life. I finally met with the surgeon again. She confirmed what we had suspected. Breast Cancer. There will be more tests next week, and a course of treatment will then be determined.

Obviously, this is not the course I want to choose for my life. But God is much bigger than me, so He gets to call the shots. I am resting in His unshakable peace. People keep saying this news must be a shock; I sort of wonder if they are waiting for me to fall apart. But I'm not sure how I can fall apart when I'm standing with my feet firmly planted on the unshakable, immovable foundation of my Great and Mighty God. He is walking through this fire with me, I have no reason to fear. I'm sure there will be times when my humanness will give way to fear & doubt. But nothing can separate me from His love. Nothing can touch me that hasn't first filtered through His hands. He. Is. Good. And since He's bigger than me & all, I figure He's probably a pretty good bodyguard.

I want to thank you in advance for praying, rallying, encouraging, and praying some more. I know without a doubt that a have a (rather large) army standing behind me and my family, ready to face this battle head-on. While we get our battle plan ready, I ask you to please respect my family's privacy; the boys know, but I only want them to talk about this as they are ready. Little seems to have taken it the hardest, probably because he's the youngest (aside from being with me at my appointments, Sunshine hasn't a clue yet). I've encouraged him with the same Scripture God used in my own heart. I let the boys know that I am not scared or worried - because I am not. Again with the unshakable peace. But I know this is hard to hear, regardless, and want to let them talk about it in their own time and comfort. Pray that God will also show Himself as their mighty protector and peace.

Please also understand that I communicate better in the written word - I can't always talk openly if the kids are around, and sometimes I'd just rather keep my make-up on for longer than 10 minutes. :) So while I know you might want to call & check on me, please understand if I don't answer. Emails, texts, and Facebook messages are perfect. The next few weeks will be very overwhelming for our family; pray, pray, and pray some more, but don't be offended if we seem to hibernate. :) I promise to let you all know when a need arises. I know I (we) cannot do this alone. Which brings me to one final verse:

Philippians 4:19
"You can be sure that God will take care of everything you need, his generosity exceeding even yours in the glory that pours from Jesus. Our God and Father abounds in glory that just pours out into eternity. Yes." (The Message translation) (oh, I'm sure my NIV or NKJV shudders, but the words paint such a beautiful picture in The Message, don't they?)

So 2011 holds some surprises for our family, much like 1998 and 2007. These surprises are a little different than those, but I have no doubt that God will bring just as great of a blessing from this.

Announcing....!!!

2011-01-24T10:06:00.004-06:00

I know I said I'd share more details at the end of last week, but things kinda happened & changed that for me; I might share more on that later, but today we're just going full on ahead with the "new" Monday feature!

If you read my last post, you know that my theme for this year is intention - being deliberate, on purpose, with purpose. When the boys started school this school year, I felt an overwhelming obligation to pray for them like I'd never prayed before. Let's face it: this world is a cesspool. They need all the covering they can get. One of the best ways to pray is to pray specific Scripture, and that's just what we're going to do!

Every Monday, I'll post my Scripture for the week - it may be one verse, it may be 5 verses - we'll just see how God leads. What I want YOU to do is to leave a comment with YOUR verses for the week, too. You can also post them on your blog (or Facebook or whatever); the point is that each week we'll have a wealth of the WORD to pray for our kids. When you post your verse(s), I only ask that you are choosing verses that are relevant to your family at that time.

This part is optional, but I think it would be great if you could do this as well: ever since that first week of school, I have tried to write the verses on index cards & post them on the bathroom mirror - I don't expect my kids to memorize them, but I want these Words to be in front of them constantly. I am thinking I may start putting them on our cup cabinet as well - how many times a day do your kids go get a cup for a drink? :)

Of course, I am not going to limit this to only moms with young kids; one of the biggest sources of encouragement for me is the "seasoned" moms - the ones who've already been there & know what it's like at this very moment. If you are one of those seasoned moms, you may also post Scripture that encouraged you in your days of shepherding young children! I also think it would be great for younger moms to see how seasoned moms are praying for their older children.

Now, here's where I need your help:

First, I'd love it if you share this idea with as many as you can - the more Scripture we are armed with, the better! Link up and comment away!

Second, we need a NAME! I've had a few ideas, but since I still want to keep my "feature" on Monday (and since that's the beginning of the week!), I'm having a hard time thinking of something catchy that goes with "Monday!" Give me your best ideas - I'd like something that goes with praying for our little warriors, building a firm foundation with Scripture - something along those lines, and including "Monday" in the title. I'll keep my thinking cap on too, and hopefully by next Monday, we'll have a real name!

So without further ado, here is my Word for this week!

Deuteronomy 6:5-6 -
"You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I teach you today shall be on your heart."

Joshua 1:8 -
"This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day & night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success."

(Here's one more tip - try using a different translation to find the wording that works for your kids - sometimes a simpler translation is easier for them to understand.)

I'm excited to see what God is going to do in our children, and in our own hearts! Are you ready? Alright, then - GO!

Intention

2011-01-17T21:55:00.003-06:00

Well, hi!

I know.

I think about writing here at least 3 times a week. There are so many things I'd really like to say, but I'm lacking the time to get it all together. I know I've said that a hundred times over the last year or two. I'm not really sure why I feel the need to apologize so profusely; it's not like I have a thousand (or even a dozen) readers! I know those of you who have stuck with me understand my absence.

But here's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking that part of the reason that I've been lacking so much in the last couple months is that I've been feeling...different. I don't think this blog is supposed to be what it was when I started it five years ago. Back then I had loads of funny stories to share about the boys. I had pictures in abundance. But life is different now. There are still funny stories, but they aren't the same. I don't always have loads of pictures now; at least not ones that show that I really do have FOUR kids, not just one or two. ;) I work part-time now, and on top of full-time wife & mom, that's a lot. It's more than enough to keep me very busy. But I still want to write, and I still want to share what's going on in our family.

I think I really started to realize this "difference" over Christmas. Some of that may have come out inadvertently in the post I wrote titled Centered. I think this really sums up how I'm feeling lately. Our life is so full of blessing, wonder and awe. Every day, no matter what happens, there is something to be grateful for. I have not posted pictures of Christmas because I don't want anyone to look at what my kids got (or didn't get) for Christmas and judge anything about our life from that. I want our (family's) life to be a reflection of God's goodness and His abundant, extravagant love. I don't want anyone to see anything other than that. Even in the bad times, I want people to see His grace, His peace, His mercy...not my humanity struggling to find something - anything - to call a blessing.

I've seen lots of people choosing their "one word" for 2011. When I started thinking about what my one word might be, I kept coming back to the word intentional. I want everything I do to be done purposefully, with intention...and that includes writing. I don't want to come here and toss up a few pictures with a short description and call it writing. I want what I write to be deliberate. I want to use the talent God has given me for a purpose...with purpose...with intention. Now this doesn't mean that there won't still be picture-filled posts or silly stories. I'm not a super serious person, and I really don't think God is either! I'll still intend to have fun here :)

So, in light of that, I have a proposition. Instead of Monkey Monday, I'm thinking about starting a little something new on Monday. It will be my own personal accountability, in keeping with what God is impressing on my heart right now. I've never done anything like this, but I am really feeling that this is where God wants this blog to go now. Where He leads, we follow, right? I will be back later this week (I PROMISE!) with more details - I need to get my thoughts on it just a little more together before I post the Real Thing. I'm nervous to lay my own heart bare in front of the world. But God doesn't call us to fear - He's got good things in store! 2011 is my year of intention. What will it be for you?

2011-01-10T16:52:00.005-06:00

I am having a real hard time finding my bloggy mojo lately. I really think you deserve better than a handful of pictures if you're gonna come here! While I decide what I need to do to remedy this, I won't leave you hanging...completely, anyway ;)

I promised to show you some of the other great products I've gotten from Shutterfly, so here they are! When Miss Sunshine was born, I made this cool collage of her newborn pictures:

Here is our Christmas card from 2 years ago:

I told y'all when I posted before that the hardest part of making a project at Shutterfly is choosing the layout & detail! All of them are so great! Here are a couple of the options I played with for this Christmas:

I've also created a couple of photo books, but it's not as easy to share those here. Again, the hardest part is deciding on the layout & the details! I hope y'all will give Shutterfly a try. They really do make it so easy to treasure your memories!

Monkey Mon...oh, never mind.

2011-01-03T21:34:00.002-06:00

Well, hey y'all! I hope everyone had a fabulously blessed Christmas and a super happy beginning to 2011! I have Things to Share and Pictures to Show. But since our holiday week(s) got turned on their ears a bit, I'm running behind. Besides, today I realized I could catch up with and tune in to Passion 2011 - a conference for young adults & youth leadership going on right now in Atlanta. I've been so blessed by listening in on the webcasts. So, if you will forgive me & patiently await a real post, which will come this week, I promise! We had some fun the last 2 weeks, and we even remembered our black eyed peas on Saturday, so all is well in the world. Tomorrow is a full return to regular schedule for us all. 5:30 will be a very mean house guest in the morning. See y'all in a few days!

Merry Christmas from our Monkey House to yours!

2010-12-23T06:00:00.001-06:00

Here is the lovely card I created with Shutterfly! It is amazing! Thank you Shutterfly for allowing me to participate in your Blogger promotion! Check back next week & I'll show you a few more of the options I considered!

Front

inside - top

inside - bottom

Centered

2010-12-20T09:26:00.003-06:00

I'm gonna hold off posting Monkey Monday & our Shutterfly Christmas card until later in the week. I think there's something a little more important that needs a place here on my feature day. :)

The other day I caught sight of Sunshine's creative re-arranging of our nativity:

Immediately, I started to think about how much truth swelled from her little set-up. Isn't this what Christmas is all about? Christ is the center of this holiday. As Christians, He is the center of our lives everyday. He is not just an excuse to celebrate a couple of holidays. He is not interested in the commercialization and materialism of our modern "holiday" culture. He wants to be our everything. While exchanging gifts is not wrong, there is a certain expectation - an expectation of more, bigger, better. But do we feel the same anxious expectation of the One who gives us our very breath?

The Shepherds ran to meet Him. The Wise Men traveled miles to seek Him. Do we give Him more than a passing nod?

Then I heard a quote from "Miracle on 34th Street"..."Christmas isn't just a day, it's a frame of mind." While I'm not sure that I agree wholly with that quote, there is truth in it. Christmas is not just a day. Celebrating Christ should be our life's calling. When was the last time we proclaimed for all to hear, "A KING IS BORN! GLORY TO GOD! ALL PRAISE TO HIM!"

(forgive me if this sounds disjointed - it's not exactly quiet & conducive to concentration as I write!)

The Bible tells us that when Jesus was born, Mary "treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." (Luke 2:19 & 51). A few weeks ago at the Deeper Still women's conference, Beth Moore expounded on the meaning of treasure. Wow - was there ever meat in that message! I won't recount it all right now, but the meaning of "treasure" really spoke to me: treasure - to hold, to guard, to preserve; keep safe, close; to protect.

We think Christmas is about giving gifts to each other, and there's nothing inherently wrong with that. But Jesus is our GIFT. HE is our TREASURE. Are we protecting Him, holding Him close, preserving Him? Are we keeping Him in the most important place in our holiday - in our life?

Christmas is about the One Who gave everything so that we could have life. But it's not just one day. Every day should be an opportunity to give, to love, to serve - to proclaim His goodness to all who will hear. He is our treasure - a treasure to be valued and cherished and shared. The treasure we have in our Savior should be proclaimed loudly and without restraint. He is the center of everything.
So as we rush from one Christmas party to the next, string the lights, wrap the gifts, prepare the food, drive the miles, address the cards, sing the songs - remember the Center. Remember your Treasure.

Monkey Monday #194 - Cupcake

2010-12-13T07:38:00.003-06:00

Friday was Little's class Christmas party, so me & Sunshine joined him for the afternoon. I was trying to take a picture of my two babies together, but my camera was being ornery & not focusing properly (I finally realized the setting was wonky!) Sunshine had her eye set on one thing and one thing only:

"What? Smile?"
"But...I want..."
"Fine. One smile! But that's all. Now can I have it??"
"THANK YOU!"

Monkeys love Shutterfly!

2010-12-08T20:42:00.004-06:00

One of my favorite parts of the Christmas season is receiving beautiful Christmas cards from family and friends. But the last couple years, I've been a slacker about sending them myself. Three years ago, I had a great excuse - having a three month old who never slept meant I ended up sending "Happy New Year" cards instead! :) Two years ago, I did much better - I used my Pampers Rewards points to order our photo cards from Shutterfly. Super easy! I actually ordered two sizes and really loved them both! See that picture in my header? Yep, that's from our photo session! You can find the winner here :)

But last year, I scrapped the Christmas cards completely; I just felt like I needed to simplify our Christmas season. I felt bad about that, even though I knew it was the right thing for us. Remember how I posted about the crazy that happens when attempting to get four monkeys to behave for ONE picture? Well, that had a little bit to do with it, but I ended up with some precious pictures anyway! I posted a few each day the week of Christmas so y'all could laugh with me ;)

This year, Shutterfly is making it easier than ever for me to have my cards and mail them too! They are offering 50 free photo cards to Bloggers!

I don't need to tell y'all how much I love taking pictures. It's one of the only hobbies that I can seem to keep up! I have been using Shutterfly for my photo storage for at least 3 years, if not longer. I love how easy it is to upload my photos directly from iPhoto - all I have to do is click on an album, and voila! it's uploading! And they are even sorted with the same album name that I give them in iPhoto, so they are easy for me to identify. I've also created photo books from our pictures for myself and for family gifts. I'm considering making a desk calendar this year for work, since I never did get a proper calendar for my desk this year!

I really appreciate the options I have with Shutterfly that some other photo sites don't have. And there's always a promotion going on - I get an email at least every other week with a fun, money saving offer. The toughest part of the process is deciding which photo to use and choosing a card design. Shutterfly has been my go-to for photo processing and gifts, and I don't think that will change any time soon! Check out more great photo ideas from Shutterfly. I know you will be as pleased as I have been! If you are a Blogger and want to take advantage of 50 free cards, be quick - this promotion ends Friday!

Monkey Monday #193 - O Christmas Tree!

2010-12-06T21:39:00.004-06:00

This weekend was perfectly perfect - I attended a wonderful Christian women's conference with 3 fabulous Bible teachers and some crazy-amazing praise & worship. I met several "internet friends" who were all just as precious in real life as they are online, and spent 2 days with my sweet mom and a couple of pretty awesome friends. A girl can't ask for much more than that! But then I came home and Sunday morning worship was pretty darn amazing, with a Christmas Concert of Praise. Let me just say that my heart is FULL. I wish I had all the words to express everything that this weekend was. Tonight we'll stick with what topped off the weekend - hopefully I'll get my thoughts together & share what I learned later!

One of the first things Sunshine asked me when I talked to her on Saturday was, "When can we get our Christmas lights?" Not "Hey mom! I miss you!" - but, "When are we gonna get our Christmas lights?" I felt loved. So Sunday after church we stopped to pick out our tree. I love having a real tree. Call me a tree killer all you want. It's not really Christmas without the smell of pine. (Or fir. Whatever.) Here's my little Christmas tree while we were picking out a tree:

And here's my little Christmas tree "sweeping" with a stray branch; I never said staying focused was her strength.

The boys tried to help her focus, but instead, they found a weird orange bug in one tree and tried to act out Wrestle Mania every other minute. But, they finally settled on one.

This one is just funny to me, seeing them all lined up, eagerly(?) watching the guys cut the trunk of the tree & send it thru the netting.

We brought it home and, after cleaning the house (because everyone knows you can't unload a bunch of stuff in a messy house!), we unpacked the Christmas boxes, sorted lights and decorations, and finally accomplished the mission:

Today Sunshine & I got out the rest of the decorations & I realized that the multi-colored lights that were on the tiny tree in her room were on their way out. I'd been thinking about girl-ing up that tree since last year, when I put the tree in her room instead of with the boys. Today, we set out to fix it. After looking around a bit, I found a strand of 20 white lights at the dollar store - white lights are much easier to girlify than multi-colored. So then I had my epiphany, and we ran home to fix it all up:
Various pink ribbon and new white lights, girly and inexpensive, our tiny tree is just right. Let the Christmas-ing begin!

Monkey Monday #192 - familial fun

2010-11-29T12:54:00.010-06:00

Whew. After 5 days away, I'm always very grateful to be off on Mondays. Sunshine & I have spent the day in our PJ's , snoozing & being lazy. It's the perfect day, too, since it's coolish and rainy. We'll be donning our clothes in a bit to do the school pick-up rounds...I'm seriously considering not, though. Morning car line is okay in your jammies, why not afternoon?

Anyway, I'm sure we spent the better part of last week like most of y'all...driving, eating, visiting, and more driving (and more eating and visiting, too). We had a great time with our families, and the kids enjoyed lots of quality cousin time. Football, Wii, movies, and sleeping on a big pallet on the living room floor - but you know what they wanted to do more than anything?

Build a camp fire and roast marshmallows. What is it about boys and fire and sharp objects? We even had to break up a couple of skewer sword fights!

Little kept saying his were burnt, although they looked a lovely shade of toasted to us! It didn't seem to stop them from eating 2 bags of marshmallows!
This is the face of a 13 year old who'd rather I did not take his picture. But mama always wins :)
Miss Priss enjoyed it just fine, although she refused to eat a roasted marshmallow. I'm sure she had a few un-roasted, though! Here she is taking in the crazy all around her. I'm not sure why she has on that jacket; she had her own, but after going in and out of the house about eleventy thousand times, she ended up with Kermit. She worked it, though :)
One of the most important things I wanted to accomplish this weekend was a family picture. We've not had one since Sunshine joined our family. Yes, she is three. Do you know when the last family picture was? When Little was three. Yes, that was five years ago. I am nothing if not a slacker. It's easy (easy? maybe more convenient is a better word) to grab the kids, dress them, and make them be mostly personable for a kid picture. But getting Sarge involved is another story. And then there's the problem of who will take said family picture. I love taking our pictures myself, but it's terribly difficult to take a picture with yourself in it. That's one of the cons about the camera I have. But, I had the idea that my sweet sister-in-law, who has a similar camera, could take the pictures for us while we were all home this weekend. And she was sweet enough to accept. I won't share the real thing just yet, but here's a teaser: Let me just tell you that our little (10 minute) photo session involved pouting and bribery, and ended with children RUNNING back to the house. Yes, RUNNING. Sheesh. You'd think I asked them to give up marshmallows for life or something.

Once the kids ran away, I asked Sarge to humor me for a picture of the two of us. Those are slim pickins, again since I'm the one always taking the pictures! He humored me with his usual charming (read: hysterical) self:

But in the end I got what I wanted, and I'm so grateful for my little family of six. Or sixteen. Or twenty-six. However you want to count them. We love them all...and miss them already!

Giving Thanks

2010-11-23T07:02:00.004-06:00

I'm going to skip Monkey Monday this week in lieu of Thanksgiving, and post some gratitude instead.

(No, that has absolutely nothing to do with my failure to upload (or take) new pictures for Monkey Monday, nor my laziness in trying to pull a Monday post together yesterday while I was at home, chilling, all day long. Nothing at all. Why do you ask?)

So, in the spirit of the season, here are just a few of my blessings, in no particular order:

I am grateful for a Godly heritage from my parents and grandparents. I am grateful that, from the earliest age, I was taught that God loves us and that His ways are higher and better than our own.
Related to that, today I am especially thankful for my mom, since today is her birthday!
I am thankful for Sarge - that he's a hard working man of integrity, and that he loves us more than life itself.
I am thankful for 4 amazing, healthy kids - no matter how many of my nerves they squash, I wouldn't trade them for all the coffee at Starbucks.
I am grateful for our little house - although it's what some realtors might describe as "cozy," it keeps us dry in the rain, warm in the winter, and cool in the summer.
I am grateful for 2 vehicles that get us where we need to go - although Sarge's sometimes takes coaxing, it's still a blessing :)
I am thankful that all of our basic needs are always provided, as well as some of our wants. We might not have a lot by the world's standards, but we have more than we deserve.

That's just the high points - do you know how much you have to be thankful for? Have you counted your blessings lately, even the little ones? As the old hymn says,
When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your many blessings, see what God hath done.

Take some time right now to count your blessings, and let the Lord surprise you with just how many He's given! Even when life isn't exactly adding up to the way you expected or hoped it would, there is much to be thankful for!

Y'all have a happy and safe Thanksgiving!

Priority

2010-11-16T17:18:00.004-06:00

Wow.

When I started thinking about writing my post about apathy, it was something I knew needed to be said. In all honesty, I did not care who read it, or if anyone even told me they read it. But I knew God wanted me to write it, so I did.

Last week, after I wrote that post, many of you commented to me either here, on Twitter, on Facebook, or in real life confirming to me that many of us are feeling & seeing the same things. Later in the week, it was confirmed again through Amazon's Epic Fail. This weekend as I attended a women's conference at our church, the subject of making our heart Christ's home brought even more confirmation.

We cannot be silent, people! We cannot continue to let sin become common. There's too much at stake. We must keep God's commandments in our hearts. We must impress them on our children and talk about them when we sit at home and when we walk along the road, when we lie down and when we get up. We must tie them as symbols on our hands and bind them on our foreheads. We must write them on the doorframes of our houses and on our gates. (Deuteronomy 6:6-9)

If we are believers, we must be set apart from the world. The world should be able to look at us and KNOW that something is different, that JESUS is the difference in our lives. Don't miss the opportunities each day to practice His presence. He longs to spend time with us and love on us, to rejoice over us with singing (Zephaniah 3:17).

Do we have time for Him?

Do we have time to let HIM order our day? Can we let go and let HIM control our daily priorities and commitments? Is our relationship with God important enough to us that we could lose everything else, and still trust HIM? Is holiness the focus of our hearts?

In writing these words, I'm challenging us all, but I also want you to know that this is MY challenge, too. I need this. The older my kids get, the more I realize just how much I need to make holiness a priority, for me and for them; the more I need the accountability to be the woman God wants me to be, and in turn the parent He wants me to be. Y'all hang with me - I know God's got something good in store, and I pray that no matter what words I write, that HE will be all anyone sees. He's all that matters, you know?

Monkey Monday #191 - too big for her britches

2010-11-15T13:44:00.003-06:00

(super sophisticate)

(expert iPhone user)

(fashion pioneer)

(imagination user)

(too cute for words)

Apathy or Abundance?

2010-11-10T09:12:00.000-06:00

The perfectionist in me has been reading, re-reading, and sitting on this for almost a month now. And even now, I have butterflies. I'm not sure why; I'm not an expert and I'm far from perfect, but here's my heart...take it for what it is. :)

Over the last few months, I've noticed a startling trend among those who claim to follow Christ. It's a scary trend - a slippery slide down a slope that doesn't lead us to God's richest blessings. I've become keenly aware of an increasing apathy in our world. The dictionary defines apathy as a "lack of interest or concern, especially regarding matters of general importance or appeal; indifference. Lack of emotion or feeling; impassiveness." Marriage not working for you? Oh well, divorce happens to everyone. Too tired from a Saturday full of sports or shopping or another vacation? Just stay home & rest on Sunday; no big deal. How about the sleep over your kid attended last weekend where they were allowed to watch movies that aren't age appropriate? What about the movie YOU watched last night?

Does it matter? Does our passivity really matter?

I'm not sure where or when it started (Garden of Eden, obviously); but I suspect that the Information Age in which we live has a lot to do with it. It's become so easy and very convenient to surround ourselves with the things that sap our time and energy. Video games, movies, music, social media - we're constantly entertained by everything, yet leaving no room for the One who can fill every void in our heart. We're filling our hearts and minds to the brim with junk - but no matter how much *stuff* we cram in there, none of it can make us truly happy.

Why are we allowing so many of these things to become common? Why are we not standing up against sin and calling it SIN? Why are we becoming so apathetic that the things that break God's heart don't even garner a second glance from us? Is sin not really sin anymore? Why do we "Like" so much junk on Facebook instead of LOVING GOD?

God calls us to be set apart from the world. He calls us to live a life pleasing to Him. There can be no apathy in a life lived for God. Lest you think it's impossible, think again. God does not call us to something that isn't attainable. Philippians 4:13 tells us that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us, and Matthew 19:26 tells us that nothing is impossible with God.

But how do we get there? How do we live the life He calls us to? That's where many people will find the hard part: living in wholehearted obedience to Him. Even when it's not easy. Even when it hurts. Even when it's not popular.

That's not what we want to hear. We'd like to float along in life, happy as clams, never worrying about a thing, doing anything we want and making everyone happy...except God.

Because that's hard. It's not popular. It's not painless. Jesus wasn't popular. He was despised & rejected. He was persecuted and taunted. But He gave up everything so that we could live a life FULL and COMPLETE in Him. Why do we keep turning away from his abundance?

We've taken the wide road - we're allowing more and more of the world to influence what God and God only should influence. When we start letting the things of the world pile up in our hearts and take over our lives, we're letting those things block His Light from piercing through this dark world. The more we shut the door, blocking His Light, the darker our lives become.

The only answer is total surrender. What does that mean? Ask Him. Then listen for His answer. It might mean giving up something simple, like rearranging your priorities to set aside more time for Him each day. But it might mean making a very unpopular choice. It might mean having the courage to do something incredibly uncomfortable - asking forgiveness, even if you feel justified - telling the truth, even if it hurts - or maybe even laying open your bare soul, exposing every secret you've tried so desperately to hide.

BUT!

When we are obedient, God honors us with blessing. Yes, he must still punish our sin. God is just. But God's heart overflows with grace toward us. He does not want us to be miserable. He longs to have a relationship with us. He wants us to be FULL and COMPLETE, LACKING NOTHING!

But the only way that we can get there is by living our lives totally surrendered to Him, wholeheartedly obedient to everything that He requires of us. We can't be apathetic. We must not simply set Him at the top of our priorities, He must be at the center of everything we do. If He is at the center of everything we do, our choices and our decisions will first sift through the filter of His hand. When we let Him guide our priorities, the indifference of apathy gives way to a fiery passion, an intense love that we can only find with Him.

What will you choose?

Monkey Monday #190 - Daddy's Girl

2010-11-08T12:23:00.002-06:00

(I'm going light on the words today - check back on Wednesday when I post a whole entire post with ONLY WORDS! and REAL THOUGHTS! Novel, I know :) )

She's got him wrapped around her whole hand :)

Monkey Monday #189 - Pumpkins

2010-11-01T14:07:00.005-06:00

Well, October flat flew by! It went so fast that I nearly forgot to visit the punkin patch with my little punkins! And truth be told, it was just me and Sunshine who took one of our last opportunities to visit the Patch. Here's my sweet with her "Baby Pumpkins"...

She literally ran into the section with the little pumpkins and hollered,
"AWWWW!!! They're baby punkins!!!"
and started loving on them like they were real babies! Cracked me up! :)
Here's my little Lucy. I wish I had remembered to take her picture at our church's "Great Pumpkin" display; that was just plain adorable!

This was a Princess jumpy! She saw it set up as we were leaving church Sunday morning & RAN across the sidewalk to go see it. Of course it was the first place she wanted to visit when we arrived Sunday evening!
The ONE thing I requested was a funnel cake! I didn't get one last year, so that was the first thing on my agenda (after the Princess jumpy, mind you!) As we sat to enjoy that fried sugared goodness, Sunshine spotted this slide across the way. She kept begging and begging to go, so Dude took her to stand in the line. I figured she'd chicken out, so when they got close, I went over, halfway expecting to rescue her......except she went down...
...and LOVED IT! She didn't understand why she couldn't go back down immediately!
And here's my ONE picture of 2 of my 3 boys. They begrudgingly stood and half-heartedly smiled. But as long as they want candy, they best do what I say :) Bubba decided that he'd stay in our neighborhood with his friends. Oh, teenagerhood. You break my heart. But I still love all my punkins - even if they are too big for their britches!

Monkey Monday #188 - Happy Birthday Dude!

2010-10-25T21:19:00.004-05:00

Yep. I missed last week. Guess what? I got sick. Yep, mom got sick. And mom was the only one who was felled by this little bug. That part was good; there was no forcing myself to feel better to nurse someone else back to health, or watch the domino effect as the sickness fell through the family. Thankfully, everyone else is stayed healthy! But, since mom was sick, things fell behind - the blog was just one of those things!

But today, we need to wish a very happy TWELFTH birthday to my dear first middle child!

TWELVE!

(That means next year I'll have two teenagers.)

(Halp!)

(Also? The word twelfth is just weird.)

We celebrated on his actual birthday (Saturday) with Sarge's family. I swallowed my Bama pride and put aside every bit of sense in order to give my blessed child the birthday he desired:
Yep. That would be purple and gold. For LSU.

LORD HELP ME.

It's a good thing he's so darn lovable.
(yes, those candles are blue, not purple...we work with what we've got!)

Is that not the cutest thing?! And yes, Sunshine sported the proper collegiate colors, as did her mama. Now that was a sight, I tell you - me wearing my Bama tee, walking out of the party store with purple & gold balloons!

Unfortunately for Dude, LSU was not able to give him a birthday victory, but he was a good sport about the loss. He enjoyed spending the day with his grandparents and playing football with his boy cousins. Since we weren't home on his actual birthday, we celebrated tonight with our traditional kid's choice birthday dinner & dessert. Sarge had asked me to make homemade chocolate chip cookies, so, since Dude is a regular cookie monster, he agreed that we should have them for his birthday. But, we forgot we didn't have a lighter or matches or anything, so the "12" ended up just being a great decoration :)

Happy Birthday Dude! You're our funny, smart, handsome, loving chocoholic, and we wouldn't trade you for all the Dr. Pepper in the world! :)

Monkey Monday #187 - smorgasbord

2010-10-11T22:22:00.009-05:00

smor-gas-bord {smawr-guhs-bawrd, -bohrd or, often, shmawr-} - noun - an extensive array or variety.

That's what y'all are getting today - a little bit of everything! Starting with last Tuesday. We had a celebrity of sorts attend our monthly business luncheon at our church. Actually, it's not the first celebrity, but this time I was under orders from the Monkey Boys to acquire some sort of proof that a real live New Orleans Saint came to our church! Heath Evans is a long-time family friend of our pastor, and I really enjoyed listening to him speak. He is so real, and very passionate about sharing Jesus with others. It was very encouraging!
On Wednesday, Sunshine & I met a couple of really sweet chics and their girls as they passed through town. That was easily a highlight of my week! It's not often that you (or, me, anyway) get to sit down & hang out with bloggy or twitter-y friends! Thanks Connie & Angie for taking time to stop & hang out!

On Thursday, it was my turn to host Bunco. This month we had a baby shower for one of the girls who is due with her first (long awaited and much prayed for!) baby in 4 weeks! I had so much fun gathering & decorating in PINK for baby Adalyn!

We're gonna skip over Saturday. Not because I'm bitter or anything, but I just don't have much to say about Saturday. Except maybe ROLL TIDE ALWAYS AND FOREVER AMEN!

Ahem.

Sunday afternoon we spent with Sarge's brother & his family who live here in town. Our schedules are so busy & varied that we don't get to do that as often as we'd like! Here's a cute pic of the girls playing in their sandbox before dinner:
Sunshine decided to bury her toes in the sand, so Little Miss watched & then decided to pour sand on her own feet!

(most of these pictures were taken with my iPhone, so y'all forgive the quality!)

Today was a holiday for us all, so we spent the day running a couple errands & ended with a trip to the park. At our first stop, the kids tested out exercise equipment, and Bubba decided that he NEEDS a punching bag for Christmas. I'm thinking that if it helps him keep his hands off his brothers, I'll take three!

Little got his feathers ruffled at the park, and I think the older two were equally annoyed, so the park adventure wasn't quite as happy as it could have been.
But Sunshine had fun with her daddy on our nature walk. If you can't tell, this is the part where she's twisting his ear and asking him, "Does it hurt now, daddy?"

Yeah, that was fun for him too :)

We ended the day with a surprise visit from my brother, his girlfriend & their friend as they passed through on their way back from New Orleans. We enjoyed visiting with them, especially since we've not been *home* in a while. And with that thought, you know what? Thanksgiving is just around the corner.

WHERE HAS 2010 GONE?!?

Y'all have a great week and try not to rush. Next thing you know it'll be Christmas!

2010-10-11T22:19:00.002-05:00

Soooo, this is a test of the Mobile Blogging Network. If the test does not work correctly, one may lay full blame to "Operator Error." So let's see how this works. This is only a test. Real blogging may resume at any time. Or something. And for your patience? This:

Later :)

Monkey Monday #186 - temporary insanity

2010-10-04T08:00:00.000-05:00

Last Tuesday afternoon, it was time for Dude & Little to have a trim. Little's school picture day was Wednesday, and Dude - well, I couldn't see his eyeballs anymore. So they got their ears lowered. And I'm not sure what came over me, but I decided to take on Sunshine's hair, too. I had been thinking how cute it would be cut just a bit shorter than it was, and I was willing to give it a shot. I regularly cut the boys' hair, and have been since they were little. We could probably count on both hands the times they've been to a professional for a cut. The main reasons that I have always done it myself were money & convenience. Taking 3 boys for a hair cut gets pricey, and rather than trying to find time to load them all up & get them somewhere (without waiting forever), it made more sense to do it at home, whenever it was convenient. It does have it's drawbacks, though. They whine & complain quite a bit more for me than they would ever do for a perfect stranger; but those perfect strangers never seemed to get their hair right. Every time they came home, I thought the same thing: "I could have done better than that." And almost every time, I do. I'm no professional, but it comes pretty easy for me. So since it's convenient, saves money, and I get the results I want, I cut the boys' hair.

When Sunshine had her hair cut this summer, I took her to my super fabulous Hair Wizard. It wasn't because I didn't think I could cut her hair; I'd been cutting the boys' hair for 12 years, so I knew what I was doing. But I was scared. This was my baby girl, with curly blond locks that everyone admired, and if I messed them up, EVERYONE WOULD KNOW.

The pressure.

So that's why we went to the Hair Wizard. But this time, I decided I could give it a try.

Mistake.

It wasn't because I didn't know what I was doing.

BUT.

I forgot that she's three.

When was the last time you asked a three year old to sit still - perfectly still - for ANY length of time? What? What's that you say? A THREE YEAR OLD CAN'T SIT STILL? Yeah. That's what I forgot.

I won't forget again.

Three days later, I think we finally got it just right. Three days. The first day, we got most of it. And it was mostly straight, except for one side. So on day two, I fixed that. But the the back was still too long, because (I forgot) SHE CAN'T SIT STILL. So every time I said, "look down for me," she'd look down for all of two seconds & then look left, right, up, and all around...

...and then she said to me, "You are DONE," and walked away, and I said, "Well, okay then." and tried not to weep...

So it wasn't exactly perfect. I sort of decided that I could leave it & it would be fine, because it wasn't *that* noticeable. But the more I looked at it, the more it bothered me. And the more it wasn't fine. So I had to fix it. Bringing us to day three.

The. Last. Day. I swore I would either finish, or drive immediately to the nearest chain salon (not my Hair Wizard - further distance, no appointment - I would seek IMMEDIATE PROFESSIONAL ATTENTION if it came to that). So we tried again. And we finally got it. And you know what?

IT IS SO STINKIN' CUTE!
But I learned a few valuable lessons along the way:

THREE YEAR OLDS CANNOT SIT STILL
I am way (WAY WAY WAY) too OCD to be a professional Hair Wizard
Some things are worth the money
Any amount that a Hair Wizard charges is worth all of (and then some) the patience and sanity I ~~wasted~~ expended last week.
Did I mention that THREE YEAR OLDS CANNOT SIT STILL??

So I will never, ever, ever, not in a dozen million years, do it again. Or, you know, at least until she can sit still. Which will probably be about the time she won't let me touch her hair with a ten foot pole. So us girls will just stick with Hair Wizards instead. We'll just use all the money we save from the boys' hair cuts to pad our salon fund. What's that the famous cosmetics company says? Oh yeah - we're worth it. ;)

Monkey Monday #185 - FALL!!!!

2010-09-27T22:25:00.004-05:00

Guess what has finally decided to find us here in the Deep South?

Yep, one of my favorite seasons, and one of the reasons I love September so very much - Fall is beginning to grace us with her (not-so-temporary) presence! To celebrate, Sunshine & I spent part of this afternoon at the park - where WE DID NOT SWEAT!

I can't believe September is almost over - Christmas is just around the corner!

Happy fall, y'all!

September

2010-09-24T17:52:00.004-05:00

So, at the first of the month, I asked if y'all knew why September was our favorite month. I'm sure you figured out by now that part of the reason is that it's Miss Sunshine's birthday. But that's not all.

September has always been my favorite month. I mean, college football (ROLL TIDE!) and the new TV series premieres are two great reasons to love September. Then there's Labor Day with it's last little vacation weekend for the summer. It's also the month that you might sometimes possibly maybe begin to feel that fall like weather - even if it is just one fluke of a cool day mixed in with all the leftover summer heat stroke inducing days.

But there's one more reason September has always been my favorite month.

It's my birthday :) And it's today, actually, the 24th of September. It's usually a day much like all the other days, with a few special and favorite things mixed in. That's the way birthdays always were for our family, and honestly, that's just the way I like them. I don't need lots of gifts, special vacations, or fancy dinners. Just being with my favorite people, seeing the blessings that abound in my life, that's enough. Really. It is. :)

With the innovation of social media, it's even easier for distant friends to send their good wishes. For the last couple years, I have been humbled and grateful to see those sweet birthday greetings posted on my Facebook wall and in my Twitter stream. Do you really know how blessed you are? On September 24th, I'm reminded dozens and dozens of times just how many blessings God has bestowed on my life. I may not be rich, famous, or renowned by the world's standards, but on September 24th, I am reminded me just how blessed I am in God's eyes. It reminds me of a quote from one of my favorite movies of all time, "It's a Wonderful Life" - "No man is a failure who has friends." If you ask me, I'm pretty darn rich. :)

Thank you for allowing me to share this life with y'all!

Monkey Monday #184 - Words

2010-09-20T07:18:00.003-05:00

I don't have much in the way of new pictures to offer, so I figured this time, I'd write for Monkey Monday.

(I KNOW.)

It's been one of those weekends when you look back & go, "Wait, THAT was the weekend? DO OVER!" It was just that busy. But it's a good busy. Saturday morning Sarge & Bubba rose early (I mean EARLY) to travel to a Mud Run. And apparently that is just what it is - a 5K race through - you guessed it - MUD.

(That laundry was FUN. And FUNKY.)

So while they did that, me & the other three bought groceries. This in itself is a Big Deal; Sarge & I usually go to the commissary together for this, but this time it was all me. And I survived. And I only forgot one thing!

We came home to attend a neighbor's birthday party (and Little & I had already attended one on Friday night), catch a little of the Tide Rolling over Duke, and then Sunshine & I joined a few church friends for a Girl's Night Out. She was the hit of the evening - we played Bunco, and Little Sister was a hoot shaking & rolling her dice!

Sunday was a normal day of rising early & going to church, but when we came home, I literally spent the entire rest of the day cleaning this house. When I say the entire day, that's just what I mean. We got home a little after two, and I promise you I did not sit for more than 5 minutes until I went to put Sunshine to bed, at 8:35. As soon as she was asleep, tho, I continued on my course for another 2 hours! But, the house is clean and all of my laundry baskets are empty AT THE SAME TIME. This never happens, people! Miracles indeed!

I did finally sit before bed and do my homework for the Bible Study I'm doing right now, "Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed." It's already speaking to me right where I am. The funny thing about this particular study is that it was taped at Deeper Still-Nashville, exactly 3yrs ago - the one I wanted to attend, even 38 weeks pregnant, but had a baby instead! ;)

So, that's enough rambling - I'm gonna leave you with some of the funny things my sweetness has said over the last couple weeks. Go tee-tee first; some of them are doozies ;)

On pronunciation:
Sunshine: "I want some of that on my spaghetti." (points to sauce) Me: "Ok...but when did you stop saying "spaggi?!" Sunshine: "It's SPA-GET-TEE! I say spaghetti 'cause I'm bigger." Me: *whimpers* (where's my baby!?)

On co-sleeping:
Sunshine woke up & came in our room. I lifted her into bed, and she asked for her blanky. I got up, got her blanky & her pillow, and then crawled back in bed. As I was pulling the covers up, she reached over, put her hand on my back & said, "Can you be still?"

On being tired:
One night Sunshine didn't want to go to bed, so we sat on the couch watching TV for a few minutes, and she fell asleep. I waited to make sure she was out before I picked her up to put her in bed. As I lifted her into my arms she opened her eyes with a sleepy squint and said in a groggy dreamy voice, "No, I don't want to go to sleep!"

On fashion:
People watching while we ate lunch at Chick-fil-A one day, she observed a lady wearing an off-the-shoulder top & said, "Why her elbow's stickin' out?"

Her running commentary on school: "K boys & girls! Who 'members our letter of da week? Livia? Ok, let's read a book! You want this one? Ok, be still, and I'll read it to you! No, don't push! You needa go to time out!"

On morning people:
First thing one morning, Little was sitting next to Sunshine on the couch. She's chatting away at him & he's quiet, still waking up...so she repeatedly asks him, "Can you talk?"

On personal space:
Tickling Sunshine, she exclaimed, "Gimme my armpit back!"

On being her mama's child:
Passed Starbucks & she said, "Can we get coffee? Cause I'm hungry!"

Have a great week, y'all :)

Monkey Monday #183 - QUIET!

2010-09-13T21:39:00.004-05:00

I don't usually put many restrictions on what my children play with (within reason, of course!). But I'd be lying if I said I didn't do a little happy dance when the boys got past the age of play-doh. It's a great thing, really - but the dried up little pieces and the crusty smashed-in blobs that covered the play area never amused me. Add to that the fact that they'd usually leave it on the table, "forgetting" to put it away...well, let's just say an awful lot of play-doh met an early demise!

Enter Miss Sunshine. She has been playing with play-doh at church & mom's day out for a while now. She's even had a container or two of her own. But they, too, found the trash before very long.

Lately Sunshine has been going thru a very whiney stage. (Wait...it's been a while...this is a stage, right? Right??) She always wants me physically with her, and usually playing with her too. I certainly don't mind that, but combined with the whine, there are days when I'm just d.o.n.e. When most of my day is spent listening to "Mooooooommmmmmmyyyyy! IIIIIIIIIIII waaaaaaaannnnnnnt yooooooooooooooouuuuuuuu!", I'm ready to run away. Far away.

But this weekend, Sunshine's Sunday School teachers gave her a little birthday present, which included a small can of play-doh. This inspired me to consider more, because she is at the age when she knows what to do with it & what not to do with it (i.e., eat it). So today we got one (ONE!) can of play-doh. And apparently it was not a minute too soon. Because this afternoon, when she was busting out the full-on whine yet again, I busted out the play-doh. And the cookie cutters, play dishes, and cutting boards.

Y'all. I got OVER AN HOUR of QUIET, HAPPY, INDEPENDENT PLAY out of the play-doh. I cannot tell you how much I needed that. The play-doh is coming out of it's mom-imposed banning...but those little crusty bits had best play nice!

Three years of Sunshine

2010-09-07T20:59:00.000-05:00

Four years ago, there were tears - tears that wondered why I did not feel content with my sweet family of five, and wondered what could possibly be missing.

Three and a half years ago, there were tears - tears of anxiety when I unexpectedly saw two pink lines form, all too quickly.

Three years ago, there were tears of worry and disappointment when I wasn't able to have the birth I wanted.

In the weeks that followed, there were many tears - both mine and my sweet new baby's - tears of pure frustration, utter exhaustion, and even sheer pain.

Then one day about six weeks in, there were tears - tears that sensed a glimmer of hope, when she smiled her first smile at me. Not at someone else - at me. The one who wanted her, hoped for her, prayed about her - the one who she screamed for, but would never smile for. Me.

That's when I knew it would all be worth it. The pain, the exhaustion, the anxiety, the plans that didn't go at all how I had purposed and envisioned...every bit of it. Worth it. Because three years later, I cannot even begin to fathom what our lives would be like without this precious, smart, funny little face.

Happy birthday to our sweet Sunshine!
You are the whipped cream with a cherry on top of our ice cream sundae -
truly the Sunshine in our lives.

Monkey Monday #182 - September

2010-09-06T20:51:00.003-05:00

September
is our
favorite
month!
Do YOU know why?

Monkey Monday #181 - The Tuesday Edition

2010-08-31T07:33:00.005-05:00

My camera battery died this past week, so I thought I share a few recent iPhone pics with you instead.

My girl loves ketchup. LOVES it. To her, it is the quintessential food. Last night she even told me that green beans were so yummy with ketchup. Which is pretty amazing since she didn't eat them with ketchup, but I'm sure she was showing culinary creativity. I'm quite sure that one day you'll see her on the Food Network with her own show - "Ketchup Kreations"

(Or not)

Anyway, it's always good to the last lick, and she can prove it:

Saturday night we took the kids out to eat, which was made even better since 3 of the 4 ate for free at this particular restaurant on Saturdays. While waiting on their food, I was most amazed that they chose to use the kid's menus for entertainment - even Mr. 13:

Don't you wish you could have breakfast with this face every morning? ;)

And lastly, here's a little snippet from my new 3rd grader's weekly school newsletter:
I am so sad. I was just wondering, "What can I get my Little for Christmas this year? Oh! I know! A tattoo!" Sigh...back to the drawing board...

Wordless Wednesday

2010-08-25T21:43:00.003-05:00

Because sometimes, there just really are no words:
(yes, I know it's Thursday. I tried to post this from my phone last night, but it never posted. It's still funny. Laugh.)

Monkey Monday #180 - weekend

2010-08-23T10:50:00.006-05:00

Our weekends are usually pretty laid back, but this one was a little bit more adventurous. After living in this great city for 15 years, Sarge decided that it was high time we took the kids to visit the Battleship. So on Saturday, that's what we did. My, oh my. Was I ever born in the wrong era. The constant stream of Big Band throughout the tour, the black and white photos, the snippets of simpler, more innocent times...it really made me wish we could time travel. Now, obviously I know that it wasn't all wonderful - this was on a Battleship! But oh, that we could go back to a time of...less. You know?

Anyway...I wish I could say that the boys were excited to learn about history and all that greatness, but alas, they are BOYS. They were most excited about the - ahem - toilet troughs, the bunks, and the GUNS. Oh my, the GUNS.

(Below: See my people? Those little bright spots up high, in the middle?)

Here's my people, in a bigger fashion

This is my Baby helping my *Baby* pick flowers by the tanks before we left. I heart these babies. And the other 3 too. They make my days fun.

On Sunday we made an impromtu day trip to visit Sarge's grandma for her birthday ( without the camera. Oh my.). Normally we don't make those trips so quickly, and about an hour into the drive there we remembered why.

WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNE.

Miss Sunshine spent nearly the whole 3 hours drive in what can only be described as something like "I'd rather stick toothpicks in my eyeballs than sit in this van with you for one more second" whining. It was as lovely as you can imagine.

Don't be jealous.

We had a fun visit with the family, though, so it was a good trip over all. We had a yummy lunch with Grandma and family, the boys and their boy cousins got in about eleventy-seven rounds of Rock Band, ~~chased each other with~~ nicely took turns riding the golf cart, and Sunshine took a(n apparently much needed) nap on the couch with her Granna. We got home much later than we anticipated, especially for a school night, but thankfully the drive home was not one long whine-fest. No, it was even better. That late afternoon nap left Sunshine perky and happy and silly. So instead of whine, we got ear-piercing squeals of delightful laughter.

Next time we're bringing ear plugs. Or duct tape. Both equally perfect for either driving condition.

Hope y'all had a great weekend too!

I knew all about the snips & snails, but nobody every told me about the Lizard Tales

2010-08-18T10:25:00.005-05:00

I'm sure many of you will remember this post, which began our Tales. And then there was this one when the insanity was repeated, just for fun.

But as if that wasn't enough, there was this one, too. A little too close for comfort, that's all I'm saying.

But then last week, we added one more. Last Wednesday night as I was locking up our area & getting ready to leave church, I saw something in the corner of the hallway. Upon closer inspection, I realized that this SOMETHING was alive:

Yep, it's a baby, just like the one on my dryer. In the church. On the second floor. Not near any outside doors or windows.

Those boogers really get around.

So, I hollered for Dude to come see if he could catch it - I'm ok with a frog or something I can wrap my hands around, but those small, fast critters are better off left to the boys. He decided he needed two cups, so he could capture it & take it outside. Except once the lizard (gecko?) was successfully caught and outside, the boys decided that we needed to take it home. To our house. In my van.

Sigh.

So, I threatened them that two hands must be on the cups at all times, because the last thing I need is to be driving to work one day & have that little sucker crawling up my leg.

I'm just sayin'.

At one point on the way home, the boys asked to have a snack that I had in the front seat. Dude could no longer keep two hands on the makeshift cage, so, ahem, I took over. It was dark. I couldn't see the little squiggle. I was admittedly nervous.

Holding the cups the way Dude handed them to me, I didn't see anything in the bottom cup. Dude quickly let me know that that was because it was in the top cup. This made me even more nervous, because what if he was crawling around in that cup & I accidentally let the two cups un-meet in the middle? He's just way small, and Lord help if he found his way out a crack in the dark IN MY LAP.

Grey hairs, y'all.

So I flipped the cups over so that I could keep my eyes on him better. He spent the rest of the ride home motionless, which was awesome for me. But I did feel a wee bit bad for him. After all, he was probably scared to death. He was lost in this big building & then all of a sudden trapped in two plastic cups, and all he probably wanted was his mama. Poor thing.

We finally made it home & I passed the captive off to the captor, who let him go in the front yard. We were feeling great about letting him go in the wild, until Sunday morning.

(Y'all knew that couldn't be all of the story, didn't you?)

Sunday morning we were almost ready to head out the door for church; I just needed a pair of bloomers for Sunshine. So I started digging in the laundry basket of clean laundry I had left in the kitchen the night before.

(I bet you realized by now that I found more than bloomers, didn't you?)

Yep, that little booger had found his way in the house, an was hanging out IN MY LAUNDRY BASKET. Sweet mercy. Little and Dude successfully caught him once again and took him outside, but not before Dude accidentally pulled his poor tail off.

So now y'all can be waiting for the next chapter, which will be entitled "The Tailless Tale." Because y'all know it's bound to happen!

Monkey Monday #179 - Goodbye, curls

2010-08-16T22:20:00.003-05:00

About a month ago, we made an appointment. Not just any appointment. This was A First. It was one that I knew was coming, but kept putting off until I could put it off no longer.

I made an appointment with my stylist for Sunshine's first haircut.

Yes, she's almost 3. But she's a girl - and she likes bows, so the hair has not been a problem.

No, I wasn't ready to say goodbye to her sweet curls. I knew once they were gone, they were more than likely not coming back. But, since summer entails lots of sleevelessness and sweating, and a certain girl is not a fan of wearing a ponytail every day, and long locks were wrapping themselves under a certain girl's armpits, I felt it was finally time.

Here she is on that special day, admiring her precious self in the mirror. She was actually pretty excited about it...

But once she got in the chair, she wasn't sure what to think about being covered with the cape, nor that whole "sitting still" part.

Once the hair dryer came out, she gave us even more funny looks...

Oh, wait - there's a smile!

See...no more curls :(

But, oh, what a pretty BIG girl! She loved her haircut, and kept swishing her hair around, too big for her britches! Even refused her bow for the day. Scared me a little, but don't worry...she's back on the bow bandwagon now :)

Monkey Monday #178 - Summer's End

2010-08-09T13:03:00.002-05:00

We've had a pretty great summer here in the Monkey House - we've even seen a few genuine smiles from the oldest monkey...maybe he really does like us ;)

Today was the first day of school, so in true obligatory fashion, here are the monkey boys heading out for the new school year:
Bubba, 7th Grade

Dude, 6th Grade

Little, 3rd grade

Unfortunately my camera fogged up for that first one - the one with the most real smile I've seen from Bubba at 6:15am in like, forever. But you still see that way-too-grown 13 year old face, heading off like a Big Shot to the 7th grade. Dude was eager to head out for his first day in the big wide world of middle school...my consolation for that is that most all of his friends are about the same size as he is, so I don't feel like I'm sending my baby out to the Land of the Giants. You can see that Little was annoyed that the sun is SO BRIGHT at 7:15am, what with that squint/smile! He is starting school at a new school this year; our "old" elementary school had grown too big, and was expanded to a new, intermediate school this year. It's odd not to be dressing anyone in red shirts and navy pants this year, and just as odd to drive past the school & not turn in to that familiar driveway and walk those familiar halls. But the new school is amazing, and I know that our 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders are going to love it. The teachers and staff are all still very familiar to everyone, and Little even has our favorite 3rd grade teacher, too! Dude was part of the last 5th grade class from our old school, and Little will be the first 3rd grade class at the new school. Lots of sentimentality with that, I tell you.

So now that I've gotten that out of the way, how about I get back in the swing of this blog thing! I'll be posting more often again (how often, I refuse to speculate!). But now that we're getting back in a routine & my schedule has changed a bit, you'll be seeing me around more often :)

Monkey Monday #177 - 13

2010-07-12T11:36:00.003-05:00

Thirteen years ago today, I became a mom.

Honestly, I don't think I knew what that really meant. Two years of anticipation, 9 months of waiting, and 30 hours of difficult labor culminated with a seven pound, four ounce bundle in my arms. I had lots of common knowledge and intuition, and I knew I loved him more than life.

But I didn't know just how much he would change me. I am a much different mother than I was on that day, thirteen years ago. I'm not even sure I can put into words what that means. I've learned so much from being his mother, even things I thought I already knew.

One of the biggest things that I've learned is that when you have a baby and people tell you that they grow so fast? Well, they aren't exaggerating. They aren't just being sentimental. It really does go by that fast.

I can't even remember what Bubba was like as a toddler. I remember little pieces here and there, but I don't really remember him being that small. Sure, the first 3 years of his life were a blur of one long baby/toddler stage. He became a big brother much sooner than we planned, and embraced his new buddy with his whole being. In some ways it seems like he's always been older, so it's not really that strange to not remember him being so small.

But it does make me sad that I don't remember more. I wish my mind could take those precious little snap shots of all the days I hurried through and keep them filed away forever. Seeing how quickly the last thirteen years have flown makes me feel even more blessed to have had four chances to savor those "firsts."

So to first-time moms and moms who still have very young ones - savor it all. Every tantrum, every meltdown, every diaper blow-out...every naptime, every playdate, every rainy day living room picnic...every early morning, every late night, every sleepless night...the french fries and cheerios stuffed in every corner of the car seats, the gooey fruit snacks squished on the floor, the stinky soured milk cup under the bed...the endless puzzles and books, the favorite blankies and lost lovies...the potty training, the muddy footprints on the carpet, the sticky fingerprints on the windows...because one day, the rush to naptime is replaced by the early morning rush out the door to the bus - the bus taking your baby to elementary school...middle school...high school. One day you realize that the time you have left with that baby is very short, and they are entering the stage of life in which they must become productive citizens on their own. One day you realize that they don't need you as much as they once did, but they have everything you taught them in their heart - even though you didn't think it would ever stick.

One day, you realize how much you have been changed because of that precious little bundle. And you pray that, as they step out into the big, wide world, they can rock their world just as much as they rocked yours.

Happy Birthday Bubba. I am who I am because of you.

Monkey Monday #177 - I scream, you scream

2010-05-24T21:13:00.004-05:00

*edited because I forgot the link to the old post :)

Remember this post, about 3 years ago? Here's a new scoop :)

Monkey Monday #176 - blink

2010-05-17T21:37:00.004-05:00

On Friday we celebrated with Dude as he graduated from elementary school. I have to say this graduation was a bit harder for me; Bubba has always seemed older, but it's harder for me to believe that Dude & Little are also getting older. His graduation was also a bit more sentimental, as his class will be the last 5th grade class at this school - a much needed new school is being built just down the street, which will house 3rd - 5th grades come August. We've been at this school since Bubba started, and won't be back there for another 3 years, when Sister starts Kindergarten.

It was also the last year for their principal, Doc. He was called out of retirement when this school opened 11 years ago; now he's hoping to be elected to our local school board to advocate for our kids and teachers.

Dude received an award for achieving A/B honor roll for the school year. We are so proud of everything that he has accomplished in elementary school, and look forward to watching him bloom in middle school this fall.

But in looking forward, I can't help but look back...

Wasn't it just last week that I sat in our apartment living room, just home from the hospital with a teeny little six pound bundle, watching his barely one year old brother snuggle him close...

Wasn't it just yesterday that I tried to keep my sanity with rambunctious one year old and a two year old monkeys?
Wasn't it just yesterday that I sent them off to Kindergarten? And now they'll both be in middle school - just one year closer to being grown up. Why didn't anyone tell me that I wasn't supposed to blink?

Monkey Monday #175 - Happy Birthday Little!

2010-05-10T22:48:00.005-05:00

On Friday, my first last baby turned eight years old. Yep, that sweet baby boy who started out on this blog as a mere 4 year old is now EIGHT! I was looking back at pictures from Kindergarten and was shocked - SHOCKED at how much my baby looked like a BABY! He's growing up so fast!

He's a sweet, charming kiddo - full of funny faces, silly grins, and quiet hugs.

Even though he started out as my last baby, he's sure become an awesome big brother.

Probably the best thing that's happened to Little this past year is this:

He has finally embraced his mama's good teachin'! You know what the Bible says - train 'em up the right way, and they'll come back eventually ;)
Happy Birthday, kiddo!

The one where I write something of substance :)

2010-05-03T15:09:00.002-05:00

The last few weeks have been a parenting challenge for me. It's not that they aren't always; but the challenges had seemed to ease up for a while there. My biggest trials historically have been with Bubba; this time was no different.

I'm not sure where the disconnect comes in; sometimes we're swimming along happily and without conflict; other times conflict is daily and strong. A couple weekends ago, it was exceptionally difficult. I wasn't sure what to do anymore. Nothing I said mattered, and nothing I did made a difference.

Last Wednesday morning was our last Bizzy Moms meeting until the fall. For this meeting, all of our small groups met together to hear our Preschool and Children's pastor (my boss!) share insight on teaching our children spiritual truths in our every day routines. Most of what he shared was geared to younger children; but at the end he shared an exercise that I had heard him share before, yet this time practiced.

He asked us to write down one child's name. Then, we were to write a three sentence prayer for that child. Of course the first name to my mind was Bubba's. I thought about our weekend and the struggles I was facing with him, and how I needed him to change. But as I put pen to paper, the prayer I thought I should pray for him came out very different.

The prayer that came through my pen was a prayer that God breathed to me in that very moment. He showed me through that simple, three sentences that what I want for my children is sometimes quite different from what He knows they need. He sees a much broader picture than I see, and He knows the true need of their hearts. I want to pray selfishly for them to be obedient, respectful, and caring; of course, part of my reason for praying that would be for MY life to be easier...no refereeing, no disputes, no discord. But God reminded me that HE is their ultimate authority, and my prayer should be for them to give Him complete control of their lives, and for Him to be the ONE they desire to please. It's not all about ME. It's about their relationship with Christ.

Obviously that one epiphany didn't suddenly make life easier; but it changed MY heart, reminding me that my children are HIS children. And just like I need to remind my kids who's boss sometimes, He reminded me Who's Boss. And that's a lesson I need everyday.

Monkey Monday # uh...huh?

2010-04-26T14:46:00.003-05:00

Hi.

Yes, 2 weeks.

Yes. I KNOW.

Where shall I start? Hmmm...

Two weeks ago we had our Spring Break, and we enjoyed that break. Quite a lot, in fact. We didn't do much except visit family and sleep in. Nothing exciting, really. No major vacation or anything, just a nice relaxing (or something) week off. Last week I was just a slacker. You can call me that, it's really okay. I use it myself quite often!

Over the last two weeks, we've had many a usual monkey moment. One of the major milestones accomplished in the last few weeks is that Sunshine is no longer dependent on diapers. Yay! We're working really hard to stay that way, and she's doing GREAT! Minnie Mouse has had a small hand in that accomplishment as well. Characters always have more influence than moms or best friends at this age :) I'm not sure if I mentioned this earlier, but a couple months ago we "lost" our pacis, so the whole "big kid" thing is really moving in full force here. I have to say, as bittersweet as some of this might traditionally be, I'm really excited and happy to be moving on. This kiddo is such an extra-sweet blessing that I'm constantly amazed at each new thing, and looking forward to what is to come. She's a definite keeper. :)

Another milestone we reached - just today in fact - we have our first brace face! Dude got his braces on this morning! Nervous and excited were our buzz words for the morning, and he did great. I resisted the urge to follow him and photograph every moment of the orthodontic application. I think he was grateful for my self control.
(Is it ok to say that OH MY WORD, his teeth look so much more crooked now that they are accentuated with metal. OH MY WORD, he has my teeth, no doubt.)

And not to leave the other two out - right before Spring Break, Little's class (along with all the 2nd graders at his school) performed a few patriotic songs for the last PTA program. Here's my Little, sitting right there on the left in the blue shirt, smiling that precious smile :)

And here is Bubba...this is the kind of pre-teen attitude I see way more of than I would like. (Sunshine actually took this picture - I was impressed with her photographic eye!) He was not happy that I made him come along to his little brother's program. Oh well. More to hate me for later, ha! At least he is a pretty great kid overall!
So that's a (very) short synopsis of our time lately. Maybe I'll be a little better at this.

And maybe pigs will fly :)

Monkey Monday #174 - Easter with the Monkeys

2010-04-05T09:31:00.003-05:00

Not a lotta pics - I forgot to take my camera with me when we attended an egg hunt with Little's church class, and after church no one was interested in posing...ah well, I made 'em oblige :) They were more interested in the candy anyway!

Monkey Monday #173 - Azalea Trail Run

2010-03-29T18:04:00.002-06:00

Last year Sarge & Bubba ran in the Azalea Trail 2K fun run for the first time. This year, Bubba set his sights a little higher & decided they'd run in the 5K. As usual around here, we were running a bit late & got to the race just moments before the start - so here's the only pic I have of them starting out:

(they're right in the center, Sarge in the gray shirt, Bubba in the white shirt, just behind Sarge)

The younger three and I walked around to the finish line & waited for them to arrive. Bubba came in first...
...waiting...waiting...waiting on dad...probably about 2 minutes worth of waiting :)

a fist bump of congratulations

a pat on the back

Maybe next year they'll attempt the 10K. Or maybe Dude & Little will join them on the 5K. Or maybe we'll all go. But don't think you'll see this Monkey's mama running. No sir. Walking works JUST FINE, thankyouverymuch :)

These are my people. Crazy nuts that they are :)

Monkey Monday #172 - PROUD! Mama Monday!

2010-03-22T07:00:00.001-06:00

(Sorry I was AWOL last week - Sunshine shared her sweet little stomach bug germs with me on Monday, and with Sarge on Wednesday - we're still praying no one else gets the privilege! But that's ok, because I wasn't sure I could wait until this week to share this news, and that forced me to wait! So, here ya go, our proud moment!)

A few weeks ago Bubba brought home an application for the National Junior Honor Society. Those of you who know us well know what a HUGE big deal this is. For almost his whole school career, Bubba has been a very average student. He's never been a bad student at all; he works VERY hard, but he's just never been an honors student. But this year something has clicked. He's been consistently bringing home A's and B's. We have been so happy that he is finally being rewarded with the grades to match his effort.

When the Honor Society application came home, I was still a bit surprised. After all, these grades have not always been his norm. I hesitated, too, knowing that he did not have a lot of the extra curricular leadership that the application asked about. I told Bubba that we'd fill it out (he seemed indifferent), but that even if he didn't get in, it was a HUGE compliment to his efforts in school.

Well, about 2 weeks ago, I got a letter in the mail. This letter informed us that Bubba had indeed been inducted into the National Junior Honor Society! We were to try to keep this information a secret they wanted the induction ceremony to be a surprise! So this past Friday, we showed up up at school to see our Bubba accept this honor!

You can tell that he still *loves* having his picture taken! I'd be lying if I said he was excited too..he's just so cool about everything, just like his dad. They don't get excited over much, that's for sure! I kept asking him if he knew what a big deal this was, and how proud we all were of him - he'd just grin and shrug :) But we are VERY proud of this hard working, well respected young man, and we are so blessed to have the favor of sharing his life!

Monkey Monday #171 - my two babies

2010-03-08T16:22:00.003-06:00

One was my first last baby....one was the real last baby. But really, they're just the last two of my four babies :)

Gussy!

2010-03-04T08:04:00.002-06:00

I am seriously jonesing for one of the CUTE bags that Gussy makes - specifically, the black & cream damask one pictured in her header! Sarah Mae has a giveaway going on right now...maybe winning one would make it even cuter! :)

Monkey Monday #170 - Meet Mady!

2010-03-01T09:13:00.003-06:00

Some of you will remember our sweet dog, Bear. He came to live with us just a little more than a year ago. But on the last day of school in May, we returned home that afternoon to find that Bear had passed away. There was much sadness over his sudden and untimely death. We knew immediately that we needed another dog. Bubba was Bear's primary caretaker, and he missed that responsibility greatly. Our plan soon became clear; Bear's sister Mady needed a new home. Well, it took a few months to make it happen, but this weekend, Mady came HOME!

Bear was such a friendly dog, but he was FULL of energy. Mady is just as friendly, but MUCH more calm! I am really hoping that Sunshine will warm up to her soon. She has always been very leery of animals, but hopefully Mady's calm demeanor will win her over - she (so far!) isn't running and jumping like Bear did, so hopefully will be less intimidating to Sunshine. Mady walks up to her very gently, and I keep telling Sunshine that she is just trying to let her know that she is her friend; so far, she is still content to love her from afar!

Bubba jumped right back into his role as master. I know he is thrilled to have her to care for. Little is over the moon with his new dog, too. Dude likes Mady just fine and all, but he's got other things to do (see him in the background playing basketball with a friend!)

Welcome home Mady! We are so glad to have you!

Monkey Monday #169 - Soccer Stars

2010-02-22T22:06:00.005-06:00

This weekend, Bubba & Dude played in their first soccer games with a new team. Here are a few shots of them in action! Sunshine was her brothers' biggest fan, cheering them on from the sidelines...that is, when she wasn't entertaining Grant ;)

Monkey Monday #168 - SNOW DAY!!!!!!!

2010-02-15T21:17:00.003-06:00

We haven't seen snow in our area in 13 years...which means our kids have NEVER seen snow. Well, I guess there's something magical about this year - the Saints won the Super Bowl and it SNOWED on the Gulf Coast! Granted, it wasn't very big in our area, but about 30 miles north, they got 6-8 inches, which is unheard of! Global warming? Um, yeah...whatever :)

So here are a few shots from the day - I only got a few right after it started; we were all too excited to play in it! But it didn't last very long. It had rained almost all night & most of the morning, so once it hit the ground it melted pretty fast. But it was very pretty to watch - the flakes were HUGE!

Monkey Monday #167 - Dance

2010-02-08T16:49:00.004-06:00

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
GOD forbid love ever leave you empty handed

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance...I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin',
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin'

When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance....

I hope you dance...
I hope you dance

Monkey Monday #166 - Mad hatter

2010-02-01T21:57:00.002-06:00

This baby doll gown apparently seemed to make a better hat. Someone insisted it was head wear, not doll wear :)

I have some cute pics on my phone that I really should put here since I'm being so lame about taking pics with the camera. Soon :)

Monkey Monday Tuesday #165 - chocaholic

2010-01-26T16:00:00.002-06:00

She fits into our family juuuuust fine :)

Monkey Monday #164 - Projects. My favorite.

2010-01-18T21:32:00.002-06:00

So, I promised to add pictures last week, then I remembered that I really didn't have any new ones since Christmas! I know! I must get the camera going again. Too much cute around here not to be snapping!

Since the boys started back to school January 5, each one has already had a project due. Some of you may remember how excited I get when we have a project to do (/eye roll). Suffice it to say that with three school kids I'm supervising & organizing my fair share of projects. The good thing is that as Little comes along, I've usually already done the project once, if not twice (depending on the teachers that Dude & Bubba had), so I know how I can do it quickly & easily. This last week Little had a seed project, and I'm pretty sure that from Kindergarten through second grade, we've done at least 2 of those each! That must be the teacher stand-by science project. Dude's was beginning to prove to be the one to beat; he has to make an animal cell model. In 3D. Oh, my soul. But, a quick browse through Mr. Google stilled my pounding heart. Turns out, there are pretty easy ways to make an animal cell, and he ended up choosing to make his out of an english muffin pizza. I'll post pictures of that once we're done; it's due Thursday. Bubba's project was pretty easy compared to the one he had right before Christmas break. All he had to do was draw a picture of a constellation & the image it represented, explaining the story behind the constellation's name. Easy Peasy.

But right before Christmas, we had our first ever volcano project. We decided the easiest way to make it would be to use paper mache. I used the trusty Mr. Google to find a good recipe for paste; this one was just flour & water, with a little sugar, cooked to thicken. The recipe I found made A LOT of paste:

We decided that without newspapers, our old phone books would make a fine base.

I missed a photo of the in-between steps, but this is the finished product. It wasn't as hard as I had imagined...it was sort of...maybe...a little bit...fun. Yes, our volcano is green. We're thinking Hawaiian volcanoes, here. Also, I didn't have any brown paint. I managed not to buy anything for this project, so there was no need to run out just for brown paint, thankyouverymuch :)

And finally, I want to remind you all to continue to pray for the people of Haiti. I found out today that our sponsor child, Frantz, is safe! Please pray for those who are working non-stop to help the people of Haiti. If you are able, organizations like New Missions could use ANY donation that you can spare. I don't think this earthquake would have meant as much to me if it had not had a face. But it had this face:
So grateful that he was spared, and praying for his life and for the people in Haiti as they rebuild.

Monkey Monday #163 - happy (belated) new year!

2010-01-11T16:24:00.003-06:00

So, I skipped last week - I know you are all shocked. Once upon a time I used to do well with this here bloggy thing, but now...not so much. I hope y'all aren't disappointed when you come here & there's a fat lot of nothing. I am not going to give up the blog; maybe one day I'll be more regular again. I until then, you get to catch me if you can :)

Part of the reason I lack here is just that it's a busy season of life. I am finding it much easier to use social media outlets like Facebook and Twitter to keep in touch with others. If I know you in real life, feel free to look me up on Facebook. My Twitter feed is over on the right, under the little title that says, "follow me on twitter!" You can definitely keep up with our day-to-day sillies that way!

So, how about a little Monkey Update? Bubba is still the ever eye-rolling 'tween, but seems to have caught the "good attitude" bus lately. I don't know if it's the new independence in middle school or what, but there's definitely been a little shift there. He still regularly torments his siblings, but I think that is just par for the sibling course! He has really surprised us in Middle School with consistent B's for both first and second quarter. Considering that school has always been a bit of a challenge for him, we have been *very* pleased!

Dude is rolling along in 5th grade with not a worry, as usual. Hopefully the ease will stick with him next year with the shock of middle school. It's so hard for me to think about him being a middle schooler next year. That probably has more to do with his stature than anything. He is a popular, athletic kid, though, so I don't think his height will stop him! We finally got his crowded little mouth to the orthodontist last month, so you'll be seeing our first little metal mouth this spring! :)

Little is growing so much. It's still hard for me to think of him as a second grader. His front two teeth are finally growing into their new home, filling in the lingering space of "baby" with "big kid." He still loves hanging out with his brothers even though they routinely deny him the privilege. But, he's also catching on to their brand of attitude, so *not* spending time with his brothers might benefit him greatly! ;)

Sunshine is, as always, is the whipped cream on top of our ice cream sundae. She continues to amaze everyone with her smarts and charm everyone with her big baby blues. In the next few weeks, I am attempting to meet two goals I've never set before. I'll be attempting to break the very strong paci attachment with a child over 2 years old, and I'll be attempting to potty-train a girl! So far into this new year, it seems that both might not be that difficult, but we'll see what curve balls might lie ahead!

I'll be back later with some photos. I've gotta go feed people :) One of the never ending tasks in this busy season!

Monkey Monday #162 - It's happening.

2009-12-28T12:13:00.003-06:00

Remember this post, from just a mere week after Sunshine was born? 2 1/2 year old Princess C made sure to let the boys know what they were in for with a nice game of beauty shop. 2 years later, they're in for it. For real. One of Sunshine's favorite Christmas presents was her pretend hair dryer, and other beauty accouterments. It took her no time at all to find (sort of) willing subjects :)

She barely let these new toys leave her sight. On the way back to Mamama & Dadaddy's house after this opening this treasure, she asked for her hair dryer (that actually "works" - how exciting!) & hair brush to sit with her in her car seat. And then she kept asking for something else, pinching her fingers together like an alligator, telling us she needed that "boo-boo-boop" thing. A light bulb finally went off in my brain, and I dug into her hair styling bag once again. She was thrilled that I was able to decode her toddler-speak for "flat iron" :)

Merry Christmas from our Monkey Bunch to yours!

2009-12-25T08:00:00.001-06:00

Monkey Thursday - getting closer to the perfect shot...sort of...

2009-12-24T08:00:00.002-06:00

Monkey Wednesday - We don't call 'em "Monkey Boys" for nothing

2009-12-23T08:00:00.001-06:00

Monkey Tuesday - She's the center of attention

2009-12-22T08:00:00.001-06:00

Monkey Monday # - um, I forgot

2009-12-21T22:35:00.003-06:00

This week (since I've been on hiatus) I thought I'd give you a glimpse into my efforts at a great photo of four crazy, silly monkey kiddos. On Christmas Day I'll post the one that I finally *settled* on as the winner. You'll see that there's quite a competition - for world's silliest kids, anyway ;)

Day one brings laughter - lots of hysterical laughter :)

Another giveaway -

2009-12-19T18:33:00.003-06:00

Tis the season, right? :) And yes, I will be back to post actual blog fodder soon - this has been a welcome break (like I really blogged that much, but still!). Look for Christmas photos of the silly monkey kids some time next week!

But for now, MckMama and Grammie Mommy have a doubly delightful giveaway on their respective blogs! I would love to win one of them - winning would certainly mean you'd see more pics :) Check them out - but don't enter...because I'm gonna win :)

Taking my chances - I'm optimistic!

2009-12-12T15:22:00.003-06:00

Have y'all heard about the fabulous giveaway from BlogHer & HP? Three of my favorite bloggers are participating in this awesome computer giveaway: BooMama, MckMama, and Kelly (maybe I should call her HarpersMama, so her name fits that list! ;) )

The contest is for an HP TouchSmart computer - I know, I know - I'm a Mac girl now. But this thing is pretty awesome for a non-Mac computer! And I have a very special idea for what I'd like to do with it, should I win it! I think my chances are pretty good - there's only a combined total of around 20,000 comments. I'm a shoe-in!

Go check it out - but don't worry about leaving your own comment. I am confident that I'm gonna win, but I don't need any more competition ;)

I know - I KNOW!

2009-12-01T21:18:00.001-06:00

It's not Monday. I know. But it's been a week with the Thanksgiving holiday. I'm going to give myself a week off. I'll be back :)

Monkey Monday #160 - Shaving. Yes, shaving.

2009-11-23T15:34:00.002-06:00

You know how kids like to imitate others, especially their parents and siblings? And how they don't really understand gender roles when they are two?

Sure makes for cute pictures, though :)